Friday, November 18, 2022

Love Language: Physical Touch

Rounding out our contemplation of the Five Love Languages: Physical Touch.

What does "Physical Touch" look like?  

The key: it's not just sex.

It's about physical expressions of love, both intimate and non-intimate. Holding hands. Cuddling. Backrubs. A pat on the back. Tickling. A hug. Sitting close together. 

I have a complex relationship with physical touch. I generally like to be touched only by certain people. (Or more accurately, there are specific people by whom I do not like to be touched.) I may be very uncomfortable if I suspect that someone finds me physically displeasing (a common sentiment among those of us who don't meet societal beauty/weight standards), and will shy away from any sort of physical contract under those circumstances. I loathe tickling. I don't even like the word cuddling. Ew. 

I do like hand-holding, or a casual pat while walking by someone. I like a hug hello or goodbye or goodnight. I enjoy sitting physically adjacent to people I like. I am fond of having my hair brushed. And despite the stereotype of frigid middle-aged women, I also like... more intense physical intimacy. (Though because I am a middle-aged woman, that does require a certain amount of unhurried patience to ensure I am in the right mental space. I think that's all I need to say about that.)

Perhaps, like "Words" (without "Of Affirmation"),  a subsection of this love language would be what speaks to me. Purposeful, non-sexual touch: good, from certain people in certain ways at certain times. More intimate touch:  requires very specific permission. Nothing remarkable about this, all in all. 

Ultimately, while this language is important, it is not as vital as Words, or as Quality Time. When combined with either of those, however -- it becomes Very Special Indeed. 

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