Love Language: Acts of Service

First up in our contemplation of the Five Love Languages: Acts of Service.  

What does "Acts of Service" look like?  

Think of it this way -- it is performing a task that will ease the burden of responsibilities on another person, or otherwise doing something that makes someone else feel loved and appreciated. 

This love language is one that I speak readily. I have always tried to do the little things that will give people the warm and fuzzy feeling of being cared for (or perhaps the feeling of relief that there is one less thing they have to do, which is sometimes even more valuable). I especially enjoy these kinds of activities because I have in the back of my head, the idea that the receiver of the Act of Services will thereby understand that I care about them, because I have done a specific task with them in mind. 

Offspring the Third's love language oftentimes revolves around Acts of Service; he seems to feel most content/loved/cared for, when small things are done for him. To his credit, too, he has learned how to ask for the little things: can you put my laundry in the dryer when yours is done? Absolutely. And I admire him, because it is so much easier to get what you need, if you ask. 

I suffer from a kind of asking paralysis when it comes to Acts of Service: I don't want to ask anyone to do anything for me, ever. It's to my detriment, though: when you ask for Nothing, that's what you get. It just pains me less to go without, than to ask. That's a Me Problem. I'm working on it. 

I saw it explained on TikTok thus: If you love language is Acts of Service and you have to ask for help, you feel like it's asking to be loved. Oh, TikTok, thanks for CALLING ME OUT yet again.  

Why is asking for things so hard? What is the worst thing that can happen -- a no? No isn't the end of the world. Sometimes people are busy. Sometimes it's not in their abilities to do something. That doesn't mean they don't care. Don't take everything so personally. 

(My guess is that there's likely a touch of rejection sensitive dysphoria hiding in the whole situation. Apparently Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is quite common in individuals with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder as well as those on the autism spectrum, so there might be a kernel of explanation in there given my autism-spectrum-tendencies.) 

Knowing all these things in theory, though, doesn't necessarily make things any easier in practice.  What I really need to do, is to to gain some experience with asking for what I would like for particular Acts of Service. That requires, first off, figuring out what I would like. That might be quite a challenge. 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Let us see what we can do.

And in the meanwhile, if there is a particular Act of Service that you would like done for you, don't hesitate to let me know -- because it will bring us both happiness for me to cause it to come to pass.