The Die Is Cast

Herself speaks.

The divergence has been set in motion.

I do not want to write about it, because it pains me to put the words forth, but -- much like pulling off a Band-aid bandage -- perhaps it will hurt less in the long run if I do so.

And so: Cherished Friend is moving 1,700 miles away from this desert land.

Emotional multi-tasking: I am very happy for him, for it is a solid step on the path toward his bringing his goals to life. Yet I am bereft for myself, for the loss of his proximity.

The grief of this change might not be quite so weighty, if not for the fact that Pandemic. I cannot just jump on a plane to go visit any time soon. And if he contracts COVID, I cannot drop off meals or supplies. I can do nothing but watch from afar. It is hard, not knowing when I will see him again in person after this parting, and knowing that there is a nebulous danger hanging over us all that makes a local support system more important than ever.

Even without the specter of the plague, there is no doubt that this is a bittersweet change. I try to console myself with thoughts of desert adventures we have shared, games of Scrabble we have played, and the complex and enjoyable conversations we have had in places varying from the back porch to the pathways of Carlsbad Caverns to hiking trails in the woods. And though I am comforted, I am also saddened by the knowledge that those times will be few and far between now.

Yet: I can vicariously experience his new seaside adventures, and we can play Scrabble online, and there is the telephone and Skype and email and text and other forms of communication to keep the bridge strong.

It won't be the same.

Nevertheless, 2020 appears to be truly a year of learning what 'new normal' means -- and this must be one more new normal that we must find.

I will not listen to that tiny voice that whispers, he will go away, and make new friends in his new place, and you will be out of sight, out of mind, unnecessary, unimportant, forgotten. The Dementor of abandonment shall not cross my doorstep. Expecto patronum!

I wish for him, All Good Things, including contentment, satisfaction, and flashes of joy. I hope this change brings him ever closer to his aspirations, and that he succeeds in all he tries. And if I can wave him off onto this new Path with love, that is the best I can do. 

Perhaps Ben Harper, Goodbye to you, will help.