Easy

Herself speaks.

The other night, I had a conversation with another friend of Cherished Friend, about Cherished Friend's forthcoming departure to a Place Far Away. And she pointed out that this change will be hard on him, and that he would miss us.

I don't know why it surprised me to hear her say so.  Perhaps I have been focusing so much on the benefits to Cherished Friend of this new change, that I have not looked at potential negatives for him.
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I have always had trouble putting myself in other people's shoes. I can understand theoretically how someone might feel under various hypothetical circumstances (given enough time to contemplate the situation), but it is difficult for me to grasp how someone is feeling in any particular moment unless there are very clear indications that I can see. Hidden motivations always elude me. Why must people be so complicated?

Sometimes I think I might just be defective in my ability to 'read' people. It does not come remotely naturally. Perhaps I am on the autism spectrum? Or perhaps my own feelings get in the way of being able to comprehend those of others.

I try. It can be exhausting.

I've learned over time to read those closest to me: Beloved Husband, the Offspring, my in-laws, my siblings, my parents. It has sometimes been a surprising lesson in my own inaccuracy, though, and I have made missteps along the way. I do not trust my view of others' feelings to be correct. I do not really understand people, even those I know well.

When I contemplate someone as stoic/semi-Vulcan as Cherished Friend, it is doubly difficult to know what is going on inside his head. (Though I know it is a very busy place.)  I am sure he has feelings in there somewhere. He plays them so close to his chest and so quietly, though, that I may not see they are there.

I don't want to make the Divergence harder for him than it may already be, by mentioning that I will be sad to see him go; but I cannot say nothing, for I do not want him to feel as though it is easy to say goodbye to him.

I have always thought that I am easy to leave: out of sight, out of mind, carry on. I do not want him to experience the same sense of ephemeral significance. Nor, on the other hand, do I want him to feel guilty for going to chase his dreams. I just want him to know that he will always be my most Cherished Friend, whatever distance there may be between us. 

I think he may already know. 

And that is enough.