Okay

 Herself speaks.

Earlier this week, at the end of a conversation, a person said to me, "Sounds like you're doing fine overall." 

And I suppose I am, all things considered. I'm gainfully employed; I have a side Opportunity that I'm also working on that I overall enjoy; I have good health, all things considered; all of my basic needs are extremely well met, with a nice house, plenty of fresh food, heat (and air conditioning already, since this is the Desert), clean water, clothing; I have extras -- like the Trio of Bunnies; I have the funds to care for my two elderly and ailing chihuahuas. It's all good.

The pieces with which I struggle right now, are some intangibles/invisibles. 

I am concerned about my parents, who are doing well but are, in truth, increasingly very elderly: when will it be safe to visit them again? And accompanying that, the usual travel dread involving airports and hours and motion sickness and trips both literally and metaphorically outside of my comfort zone.

I worry about the Offspring, who continue to try to pave their ways in the world in the face of the pandemic. It is tricky. I don't know how to make it easier for them.  

I miss Cherished Friend. When will it be safe to visit him, too? 

I don't have enough free time spent with Beloved Husband. He works so hard. I do all I can to help him. Is it enough? 

I don't know how long Tiny Dog will last. I don't know what will happen when it's her Time. And will New Old Dog outlive her? He seems frail as well. This waiting is hard.

I am lonely. But cannot, at this point, bring myself to go out in public/interact with strangers. Because Plague. When will this change? 

I am struggling to lose weight. Which seems so petty -- but yet, I long to be at a weight where, if I go to the doctor, any mention of any problem is no longer addressed by advice to reduce the number of pounds shown on the scale. Arthritic finger? Lose weight. For f*ck's sake. 

I am having trouble finding things to write. Because of the intangibles/invisibles above. And that makes me sad, too. 

I know things will get better. And that I am, overall, doing Okay. I could stand to be doing a little better, though. 

Tiny Dog contemplates Life.