The Tending Instinct

Herself speaks.

I watch the news. Additional women come forward to speak against Supreme Court nominee Kavanaugh. The rhetoric from the side supporting Kavanaugh is filled with vitriol. Doubts voiced vehemently. Aspersions cast. And at the same time, there are whispers of a boys' club, of sexually aggressive behavior, of a cavalier and sneaky and entitled attitude toward the bodies and minds of women. "Boys will be boys." "What man hasn't?"

Seriously?

It is enraging and frightening. And so many women are now having flashbacks to the terrible experiences lying just under their skin, are newly burdened with doubt and self-blame and anger.

Here: read this article. It explains some of the complexity behind #metoo and #whyIdidntreport. Read it.

Sometimes You Make Your Rapist Breakfast. (Find it here: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a19158567/what-is-rape/)

So many women -- "haunted by the mythology of the Perfect Victim."

It is not just fight or flight. It is, rather: fight, flight, freeze or appease.  Befriend and tend: "Often, women calm their aggressors down, and try to tend to the emotional needs of themselves and others, instead of escalating by violence, or attempting to flee."

Whether such reactions are biological or sociological is unclear. Yet, this is how women are. Safety is a very different beast for women than for men. And women have now, finally, had enough of trying to find safety in this Men's World. NO MORE. 

Do you hear the voices? We will be silent no longer.

Change is on the horizon.