Herself speaks.
Saturday, I went out to Offspring the Third's location, to help him to pack up and vacate his apartment. He has graduated, and his time in Points North-Eastern-ly have come to an end. It is time for him to come Home for a bit.
Offspring the Third is a lovely human being -- kind, thoughtful, hardworking. He is the sort of easygoing person who doesn't make you feel foolish for not knowing something, who thoughtfully guides you to the right door of the building or the next thing to do without being pretentious or bossy or critical that you don't know what is happening or where to go. He is grateful for everything that is done for him, and voices his gratitude willingly and honestly. He is the epitome of Good Egg. Well done, Offspring the Third.
Offspring the Third also has a tendency to struggle with organization (except when it comes to his workshop tools), and places tidiness and scrubbing-of-things low on his priority list. I can't blame him -- so many projects in school, so little time for self-care. As a result, though, his apartment was... a bit of a mess. He needed a lot of help packing and cleaning. And I do not begrudge him this, because he is a lovely person, and deserving of help in a time of need. And because I want to be the kind of person who willingly helps. The sort of person who drives six hours, spends seven hours organizing, packing and cleaning, sleeps a bit, spends six more hours organizing, packing, and cleaning, and then drives seven hours (slow-going, because Trailer for Stuff) home again. And that's what I did.
It was A Lot.
But it is Done.
I got home, and the rabbits needed tending, and the dishwasher was still full of the clean dishes that had been there when I left, and the sink was full of dirty dishes, and my laundry was waiting for me in the dryer. It was... A Lot, in a different way.
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Last week, Beloved Husband mentioned in a conversation that he feels like he spends all of his time doing things for other people. There is no doubt that he does -- he works very hard, and very long hours, and the clients can be extremely needy and demanding. It's exhausting. And I completely understood his sentiment about Doing Things For Other People. Because I do the same. This is why, as much as I might wish that he would take care of the dishwasher while I was away, it is understandable that he does not. He is Tired. He needs a break too. We all do.
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While I was in the midst of the organizing, packing, and cleaning this past weekend, I reached out by text to the people close to me, to try to get a few extra molecules of serotonin by connecting briefly with someone outside of my task at hand. They were not available, though; they were out camping, or doing family activities, or just not responsive. It was hard, because my need for support was very great, and yet their needs -- for silence, for their own mental space, for their own activities -- were just as important as my need. I can't take it personally if they cannot support me at any given time I am in need. I think it is OK for me to be sad or lonely, though. And I was.
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As an aside, today is the eighth -- can it be already? -- anniversary of The Unmooring. That adds some Feelings.
My Feelings are tired.
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All of Offspring the Third's possessions are stacked nearly in the garage for now, and he and his kitties are sleeping peacefully, with the well-deserved slumber of those who are ready to Rest After Toiling. I am doing the laundry, and making a meatloaf and a grocery list, and then will go to work, because Life Goes On and things still need to be taken care of, with or without any help.
One step at a time. On we go.
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