My Tree

Herself speaks.

I went to visit my Cherished Friend.

It was... Everything.

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I almost don't want to write about it, because there is no way to put it into words adequately. Nevertheless, I'll try. 

I set out, exhausted from Life, to Oceanside. I did not give much thought to what it would be like to be there -- because I was so afraid that the trip would not come to pass, that I could not bear to anticipate in case I would end up disappointed. 

If I had not been so Tired, I would have worried more about the logistics and the technicalities of being in his Domain -- for I know that he is a private and reserved person, and I did not want to be intrusive or bothersome. As I was, though, I just relinquished myself to the moment: I accepted that despite my limitations, my foibles and my deficiencies, he nevertheless would somehow tolerate my presence. And he did, with kindness. And it was Lovely. 

It was such a delight to do the ordinary things we once did nearly two years ago before he moved to Oceanside: to go for a stroll, to play Scrabble, to have a meal. His voice, so soothing -- sometimes I was tempted to close my eyes while listening, to hear his words wash over me like the waves along the shores where we walked. I could listen for hours and hours. 

The only hard part was respecting his personal space: knowing that he is not a person who enjoys casual touch/physical affection, it was necessary to refrain from sitting too close, from putting a hand on his shoulder or his head when passing by behind where he sat, from reaching out to touch his arm to be sure that he was Real. 

Yet he is very much Real. His house carries the familiar, consoling aroma of the house he once had in the desert land that I call home. And I spotted here and there in his home, some of the small gifts I have given him over the years, and it was magnificent to have proof that he exists in the world, outside of the memory I carry of him inside my head. 

He is the same as he ever was, and his consistency, his being of himself, is a balm to the soul. A stalwart sheltering tree, ever standing despite the storms of Life. 

My tree. Thank you for the sanctuary you provide. I don't have words to tell you how grateful I am. I wish for you, all Good Things. Always.