Advantage

Confession:
I was able to get the COVID vaccine.

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I did research, and more research, and still more research, to try to determine whether my risk of COVID-going-poorly was increased by the cardiac issues I have been experiencing. It was hard to tell; so little is known about this new virus. All things considered, though, it seemed that having cardiac issues is a definite risk factor. And so I signed up for a local vaccine program, under group 1B, for those with chronic medical conditions that put them at increased risk. 

I felt guilty -- surely there are other people who are at greater risk than I am. Still. I am not low-risk. I have a lot of people depending on me not to be incapacitated. Or dead. And I still have things I would like to do: goals and aspirations that include not dying right now. 

I had few side effects from either the first or second dose, for which I'm grateful. Any side effects would have been better than contracting COVID, at any rate. 

I feel marginally safer now. Still a bit guilty. I will live with that, though. 

I am still very concerned about the health of Beloved Husband and the Offspring, and we are doing what we can to try to get them vaccines as well. I am waiting for more information on when my siblings will be able to get vaccinated. I am relieved that my parents and my in-laws have received the vaccine, as has Cherished Friend. 

Vaccine distribution in the United States is so uneven. Some of us get lucky, securing a slot in a local program, scoring leftover doses that are unexpectedly available, or obtaining the vaccine through work. Meanwhile, news articles reveal that people are lying about their risks to get in queues early; and the elderly, who have greater risk of serious illness and yet much less access to the internet, are having tremendous difficulty gaining access to vaccines. 

And overarching all this: some public officials calling mask mandates "diabolical silliness". This is why we cannot have nice things: cannot mandate an effective disease mitigation tactic, and cannot rely on some people to voluntarily do it either. People decry mask use in the name of some nebulous "freedom". Freedom to spread disease is not a thing. Science IS a thing. So many conspiracy theories, so much anti-science sentiment. It's mind-boggling. 

Want to protect this great country that you proclaim to love so much with all its freedoms? Protect your fellow citizens. Put a f*cking mask on your f*cking face. 

I may be vaccinated, but my rage at other people continues to burn. I may never truly be comfortable in public again.