It is day number wearenotentirelysure of social distancing. We are safe, everyone's health appears fine, and we have everything we need. There are occasions when someone in the household voices aloud their frustration at being unable to pursue certain activities or goals or desires, and when those of us who are more emotional have a Moment or a Minor Meltdown. Nevertheless, things are okay. It could be much worse. I am grateful it is not worse.
I am not sure where I am at in the spectrum of "doing fine vs. doing not-so-fine". I've lost a bit of the feeling of panic that I carried with me in the first days of the Work Safe/Stay Home orders; it might be an inability to carry on with that level of worry, though, that has caused that change. I am hyperaware of everything I touch, especially when I receive a grocery delivery or pick up the mail. I am uncomfortable standing too close to anyone. I miss the freedom of casual touch -- a peck on the cheek, a pat on the arm -- that used to happen naturally, without a frisson of fear.
I want to be Alone. Or rather, it is not that I necessarily want to be by myself, but rather, that I want to have a moment in which, for just a little while, I am not worried about the health or safety or needs of anyone else. A moment of peace.
Until that peace can be found, we look for solace wherever we can find it. Right now, we can find a moment of tranquility in this lovely woman serenading her chihuahua with Lover's Moon.
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