Protecting the Innocent

 Herself speaks.

One of the reasons that posts have been a bit sparse here, is because some of my writings of late, are not for public consumption.

I write in order to process. And, in fact, I can only fully process through writing. Verbal processing -- through conversation with another person -- is insufficient, and is, in fact, not fully reliable. It is far too prone to misunderstanding, interruption, gaslighting and historical rewriting, especially when there is an additional second person in a conversation who might perhaps like to reframe themselves in a better light or might import their own history or judgment into the mix. Foibles of human nature: we cannot, in fact, understand what is happening inside someone else's head -- and sometimes, we misinterpret.  

(I do realize that solitary writing is also subject to some of these deficiencies: we all, after all, want to portray ourselves in the best light, and it is hard to look at our own failings objectively. Nevertheless, it is easier when only one person's feelings at a time are subjected to scrutiny, in the form of the written word.)

There is an added consideration, too: the protection of other people. 

If I have a bone to pick with someone, that is between me and the other person. Or perhaps, even, in my head alone. It's not for public consumption.

Furthermore, sometimes calling another person's attention to what I perceive as their failing, would serve no useful purpose. I disagree with them: so what? Their knowledge of that fact would do naught but hurt them. I'm not in the business of hurting others, specially when I know that no good change can come from their knowledge of my sentiments. They do not need to see everything in print, out in the world. 

An additional goal: protecting the innocent. There is no reason for me to tarnish a good person in someone else's eyes just because I have a grievance. We don't tell our dentist that their favorite movie star doesn't floss -- the dentist would only be disillusioned, and it doesn't matter, really. Let people have their favorable opinions of other people. Life is short and full of disappointments already; we don't need to add more. 

The world needs more kindness. And sometimes, that means: the world does not need to see in writing, all the words that are bumping around inside of my head.