Math-y

 Herself speaks.

The other day at work, I had to do a little bit of math as part of a project: if shareholder A holds x shares, and shareholder B holds y shares, how many additional shares ('z') must the corporation issue to shareholder A so that shareholder A holds fifty-one percent of the total outstanding shares? And honestly, it was the happiest I'd been in a long while, to tackle a word problem like that. Given x and y, solve for 'z' number of shares. 

Ah, math. Math, of concrete answers. Math, my old friend. I hadn't realized how much I had missed you.

-----

In about a week, I go north, for the celebration of life for my Daddy. My siblings and I will each have an opportunity to speak a few words about him. I've written what I would like to say. If only I can ensure that I will be able to get through it safely. It will be hard. 

One anecdote I'm including, is about how Daddy would write math problems on napkins for us children to solve while we were waiting in restaurants for our table to be ready or for our food to arrive. Math again, a source of entertainment then. It's a very fond memory. 

-----

Math -- you serve so many purposes. Could you actually be a source of comfort now? Sensible, safe and rational, not requiring tending to your emotions beyond my capacity right now, but rather, safely existing, stalwart and eternal. 

I bought myself a few math workbooks for adults. Because, why not? I'll start with algebra, work myself up to and through geometry, and maybe even into calculus, just for fun. 

At this point: I will find comfort wherever I can. 

Especially, with math.