Ned, You Fool

 Let's talk about the Try Guys. Specifically, about Ned's fall from grace this past week.

(Need a nutshell version of who the Try Guys are, and what happened? Try this link here.)

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I've nonchalantly followed the Try Guys for several years, since their Buzzfeed days. Their videos have always been fairly entertaining. Since they branched away from Buzzfeed, they have expanded significantly into podcasts and several YouTube channels and a line of merchandise. their own rapidly-growing multimedia system. They have seemed unstoppable: a new series on the Food Network, visibility on numerous platforms, and more and more. They have been everywhere. 

Each of the four Try Guys has their own persona which has been carefully cultivated over the years; Try Guy Ned's schtick has always been his married status, with multiple, frequent references to his wife. There is an entire mega-cut on YouTube of just Ned saying in various intonations, "my wife." His wife has appeared in various videos, as have their two tiny children. Ned, the quintessential family man. 

You already know where this is going.

Ned was caught, and has admitted to, a "consensual workplace relationship" with an employee. Oh, no.  Ramifications were swift and brutal: he and the other Try Guys have parted ways. Fired, publicly shamed, ostracized. He is the subject of a seemingly infinite number of TikToks, Instagrams, social media commentary -- his public failure is everywhere. 

So much damage: to the other three Try Guys; to their extremely successful brand; and most of all, to Ned's wife and by extension, his young children.

Ned, you fool. 

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When I was young, the idea of a person cheating on their spouse was uniquely repellent: sleeping with someone-not-one's-spouse was always an unforgivable sin, and I judged accordingly. As I have aged, I have come to understand that lives are incredibly complex; although there are certain choices that I would never make myself, I do nevertheless try to hold a molecule of understanding for individuals who, for various reasons, have fallen to temptation. I judge less. Life is hard. 

For Ned, though, I have absolutely no sympathy. He blew up not only his own life, but the lives of everyone around him. He grievously harmed his business partners, his livelihood, his relationship with his fans as a public figure, and most of all, his family. Publicly, visibly, loudly. For what? For why? 

Perhaps it is the dissonance between his public family-oriented persona and his (previously) private activity, that is the most disturbing. Perhaps it is the sheer volume of harm, rippling outward, that he has caused to other people. Ned has been reminded, in an incredibly painful way, that relationships are not insular. What one does in one arena, has an impact on all aspects of one's life. And on the lives of the people who should be most important. No man is an island. We are all in an archipelago. 

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Time will tell how the Ned-pocalypse shakes out. What is certain, is that numerous lives will never be the same. Perhaps they will be better in the long run, if they move forward with new honesty and humility. Perhaps, too, other people will look at Ned's fall from grace, think more carefully about their own lives, and spare their loved ones a similar tragedy. As the saying goes, if you can't be an example, be a warning. You can be a warning, Ned. 

I am doing my best not to judge Ned. We don't know why people do what we do, in the end. Still, my sympathies are completely with the victims of Ned's shenanigans. I hope for the best for you all. 

Good luck.