Don't

 Herself speaks.

Just the other day, I was compelled to explain to someone why it is not necessary to point out to an overweight person that they are, in fact, overweight. 

Fat people know. 

We know. 

-----

Think about it: are you aware of the size and shape of your body? How it moves through and occupies space? How it fills a movie theater seat? Whether you can maneuver it through aisles of stores, past people in restaurants? You know. Everyone knows. 

Fat people know.

To point out to a person that they are overweight, is to make a pronouncement about their unacceptability: I am reminding you that you do not meet the expected norms for our society. I find your body unacceptable.

The unspoken yet very clear message: You are unattractive, lazy, careless. Slovenly. Repellent. You should not be out in public, because you do not meet the right standards. You are not one of us. 

-----

In general, most people want to belong: to be part of the group, to be recognized as a human being having intrinsic value. Pointing out that an overweight person is overweight, reminds them that they do not belong. That their value is diminished because of their size. 

So much value placed on a body. 

No one wants to look at you, to talk to you, to treat you as a worthwhile person. You should not be seen.

Does pointing out a person's excess weight, motivate them to lose weight or otherwise try to fit better within acceptable norms? No. No, it does not. It does motivate them to self-flagellate, though, and to contemplate all the reasons why they are not acceptable. 

Just don't do it.

Feel compelled to "help" an overweight person?  If you are motivated to do so because you "feel bad" for someone who is fat -- don't help. No one needs pity aimed at them for failing to comport with societal norms. 

If you would like to assist an overweight person in living their best life, though, then I recommend the following: treat them as you would any other person of any other size. Do the things that many people like to do together -- go for a walk; cook and enjoy a healthful meal; have dessert on occasion.  Listen thoughtfully if they mention any weight-related goals. Do not offer advice unless you are specifically asked to do so. 

Just live life with them.

It's that easy.