Bean

 Herself speaks.

Someone very close to me, whom I shall call "Anna", has a pet which, due to misfortunate misgendering of the pet at adoption and/or a foster animal of the same species in the household, had a litter of babies. SURPRISE. Tiny baby beans, they are. 

Most of the baby beans are vigorous little critters. Unfortunately, one was a runt, and did not fare well. Anna kept me updated by text, and we prepared for the worst. There was nothing that could be done. The tiny runt bean passed away. 

Anna is a very tender-hearted person. To try to help ease her pain, I let her know that I would take care of the tiny runt bean. I drove over to Anna's apartment. I could not stay long, nor give Anna the long hug that I wanted to give her, because Plague. I took away the tiny runt bean for interring in my back yard. I put the bean in a tiny box lined with faux-fur, and buried the bean behind the oak tree. I put a paving stone over the grave, so she won't be disturbed. It's a nice sheltered spot.  

-----

I'm not sure why this tiny runt bean broke my heart so much. Perhaps it is knowing I cannot cure Anna's heartache. Perhaps it is that terrible mental image of one tiny bean, all alone. Perhaps it is the level of Pandemic loneliness that makes this small tragedy seem nearly unbearable. Perhaps it is because I have been so busy, that I have been neglecting myself, and the tiny runt bean poked a hole in the dam holding back my own feelings. 

My heart aches.

Godspeed, tiny bean. Thank you for your time with us. However brief it was, you will not be forgotten.

Ripples of Relief

Wheels are in motion.  

Some of the people most important to me have received their first dose of a COVID vaccine: my parents, my in-laws, Cherished Friend. The rest of us are doing what we can to get into one line or another to try to get the vaccine ourselves. As I was told by a doctor during a telemedicine visit this week, it's a lot like trying to score concert tickets online. Yes, it is. I want that ticket. I NEED that ticket. 

It's hard to be patient, but I know that other people's needs are greater than mine -- especially in our medical communities, which are so exhausted. At the beginning of another telemedicine visit this week, when I asked the doctor how he was, he replied with a little sigh, oh, trying not to die of COVID. The poor man. My heart. It didn't even occur to me until later that he might have been making a literal comment, rather than just one about the state of the world in which we currently live. Universe, have mercy on this man. 

I will only begin to rest easier when the Offspring, Beloved Husband, and I are all vaccinated as well. Hopefully, soon.  

Soon is relative.

Someday, though, we'll be able to more safely venture into the world again. 

Photo Copyright 2020, 2021, Mediocria Firma.

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

Flock

Herself speaks.

I have so many things going on right now. On the one hand, it is good to be busy, because I am doing some things that I genuinely enjoy (interspersed among the tasks-I-must-do) and I have little time for ruminating on things like Pandemic and such. On the other hand, I do occasionally feel as though I have bitten off more than I can chew, and I'm not sure how to tackle everything. Except one step at a time, I suppose.

So I offer in advance my apologies, my stalwart readers, for not tending to the Blog as carefully and thoroughly as I would like. Things will get better in due course, and then I will subject you to more of my ruminations again.

In the meanwhile, I shall do my best to post some lovely photos for your enjoyment. 

 Photo Copyright 2020, 2021, Mediocria Firma.

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

 

Brrrr

Well, that was a surprise when I woke up this morning!

Snow in the desert is always a remarkable thing. 

WE ARE VERY CONCERNED

Behold, the Roomba. THE FLOOR IS SO CLEAN. What a happy thing.

Tiny Dog is extremely concerned. Barkbarkbark.

Old Dog is also rather concerned, although somewhat less so than Tiny Dog. He stands his ground, allowing the machine to bump into him before choosing to purposefully stride away.

I am so glad that I do not have to clean the floor. 

Taking a Walk

Current Mood

This.

<3

Rage

 Herself speaks.

I went with Offspring the Third to his college city, to help him tidy up and organize and prepare for the semester ahead. He's a good egg, and a good traveler. And, apparently, is sufficiently jaded that he just assumes people out in public will be terrible about mask compliance and is unruffled.

I, on the other hand, am enraged. ENRAGED. SO ANGRY. See that sign on the gas station door? "Masks required." Yet at least eight people who wandered in and out while I was fueling up, had no masks on. And the two people behind the counter? Also, no masks. This is why we cannot have nice things. 

After finishing up with Offspring the Third, I checked into a local hotel to get a bit of rest before returning to the road early the next morning.  There was a police car outside the main hotel entrance, and the door was locked. I had to ring to be let in. There was a police officer in the lobby as well, lurking but clearly visible. He kept a tight eye on me and the clerk who checked me in. The clerk wore her mask under her nose. 

What danger was there, I wondered, that required such safety precautions? And why is this pandemic not similarly treated with precautions? Honestly, I am much more likely to die of COVID than I am of a random gun-slinging hooligan breaking into a Holiday Inn Express lobby. 

On the way home, mask-free people continued to appear everywhere. The rest stop. The sandwich place. The gas stations. I avoided humanity as much as possible. 

I may never get over the anger I feel. I used to think that people were, on a whole, generally good. Yet now I look around me, and I see people who cannot be bothered to cover their faces to try to prevent The Plague from continuing to spread and ruin lives. 

There are political and gender facets to the non-mask problem. I don't even have the energy to delve into these things.  Because I am too ENRAGED. 

To, and Fro

A lightning-fast trip through the Guadalupe Mountains, en route to take Offspring the Third back to college for the semester. It is dry, and soothingly empty on the road.

To.

Fro.

Sunset

 I consider myself to be very much a land mammal: given my propensity toward motion sickness, the very idea of being on a boat renders me slightly queasy. Furthermore, I am not just a land mammal, but am -- after twenty-four years in the southwest -- very much a desert land mammal.

That being said:  I look at Cherished Friend's pictures of the waves and the shoreline, the sea birds and the beach sand, and Oceanside is so painfully beautiful that I feel a tremendous sadness not to witness it in person. To smell the salt water and feel the ocean breeze and hear the birds and the waves: how glorious that must be.

 Photo Copyright 2020, 2021, Mediocria Firma.

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

Spider

There once was a tiny fierce spider

Surrounded by greenery to hide her,

Whilst searching for food, found gnats in multitude --

A tasty feast they would provide her.

 Photo Copyright 2020, 2021, Mediocria Firma.

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

Signage

I have... so many questions.

Photo Copyright 2020, 2021, Mediocria Firma.

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

Alligator Bridge

A bridge that leads... where?

Might be some alligators

Hiding underneath

Imagine a day

When it is safe to travel --

Check for them myself.

Photo Copyright 2020, 2021, Mediocria Firma.

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

Meow Meow

I am still getting used to finding Offspring the Third's kitties in random places throughout the house. They like to sit up high, and to look out of windows. Meow meow.

Green

Herself speaks.

Cherished Friend sent some truly extraordinary photos from Oceanside. There were three folders of photos, each from a different Oceanside location, and I found myself wanting to look at only a few of the pictures at a time -- savor them, dive deep into them, absorb them. I'll share some of my favorites in due course. It's hard to choose. 

Looking at the photos reminds me of going for walks with Cherished Friend and his camera, on mountains and at nature preserves and in all sorts of places in between, and the wistfulness generated by the memories is nearly overpowering. I miss those moments, so much. 

Someday (Universe willing), there will be more walks. And photos to remember them by. 

Photo Copyright 2020, 2021, Mediocria Firma.

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

Everything is Bananas

Things I miss in a President: decency, honesty, dignity. Integrity. Reasoned, measured speech. Positive leadership. 

So many things. 

Migraine Mood

Riot

Riot. 

Home grown terrorists outside, and inside, the United States Capitol. And the current President, inciting violence. He is a lunatic. 

I have no adequate words. Horrified, apoplectic, disgusted.

America is an embarrassment to itself. 

Office Mate

Herself speaks.

It's going to be a busy few months. 

In addition to my regular job, I'm once more taking on The Project (that I've previously undertaken twice before). It involves a fair amount of work for the next three and a half months, but it's highly enjoyable, and I'm delighted that the opportunity has arisen again. The one wrinkle this time is that, instead of in-person as before, the entire project will take place online (e.g., via Zoom). 'Tis a challenge, to be sure. We'll do our best.

One of the benefits is that I will have my regular wee office mate assisting with this project as well. She's a great help, to be sure, with her tiny soothing presence.

Hellican

I have been in the desert for so many years now, that the ocean seems like a foreign land. Perhaps it is, in a way.

If I concentrate, I can almost hear the waves and smell the salt of the water. What a beautiful place.

And the fauna of oceanside -- so different from desert creatures. 

I am reminded of an old poem, attributed to Dixon Lanier Merritt, that I learned in my childhood:

A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week!
But I'll be darned if I know how the hellican?

All photos Copyright 2021, Mediocria Firma.

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

Delightful Little Things

 I'm not sure how it happened, but I found myself perusing pans on Amazon.com. Specifically, Nordic Ware pans. 

SO DELIGHTFUL.

The very idea, being able to make cakes in so many spectacular shapes. 

Feeling Halloween-y? You can make skeletons; tombstones; a haunted manor, even. 

Is Valentine's Day special to you? Try some heart cakelets, or a heart bundt. 

Know someone who loves trains? They have trains, too. Or maybe you would prefer dinosaurs? There are dinosaurs.

Would flowers be better? There are flowers. Perhaps rosebuds in particular? Or just a big rose bundt? 

Do you need a beehive? Sweet.

How about a pine forest bundt pan? SURE THING. 

There are endless winter holiday pans: snowflakes, winter-themed mini loaves, gingerbread people. And nutcrackers, too. Even a snowman!

Bunnies. BUNNIES! (I might feel a little bad eating a bunny-shaped cake.) 

So many beautiful bundt pans. Like this one, for example. 

-----

I don't actually need any of these pans. I have more than enough  pans for baked goods (including, in fact, a lovely pan to make insect-shaped muffins). There is something so very aesthetically pleasing about all of these pans, though, that it is marvelous just to look at them.

I might get this one anyway. It will be perfect for pumpkin bread. 

You can find this pan here:

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B075HJGHKN/

In With The New