Monday, November 30, 2020
Sunday, November 29, 2020
Saturday, November 28, 2020
Pandemic Thoughts, Eight
Herself speaks.
It's been nearly two months since the last Pandemic Thoughts. The Pandemic continues apace (is the infection rate exponential yet?), and the news articles are so exhausting that they are virtually unreadable, for how much heartache can one bear? Five year old loses both parents. Whole family struck down. Entire population of nursing home infected. It goes on, and on. And on.
And so we hide, not only from other people, but from any news sources at all. We filter Facebook friends who post about going out to dinner. We delete the emails from extended family members who want to provide me with the latest article about the dire situation in our home city. We look at online science journals instead of standard news sources. And when we must have a bit of news, we read the BBC instead of CNN. We do what we can.
It's a lot. And it's hard not to fixate on the actions of deliberately Terrible People who refuse to wear masks or socially distance, and who effectively make life extremely difficult for those of us who are trying to do the right things. I've lost a lot of my faith in humanity because of the Pandemic. It's not a happy situation.
Rather than spend time being enraged at things (and people) that I cannot control, I've instead turned inward to ruminate. I've spent a lot of time thinking about Things. Things like: what I need from other people; whether the people close to me can realistically provide what I need; and what to do if not. And related to that: how to somehow build more support, even though I don't like to ask for help; and why I don't like to ask for help in the first place. And occasionally, when I feel optimistic, Things like: how grateful I am for what I do have.
If nothing else, by the time restrictions loosen and I am once more able to interact a bit more with the human race, I will have a better feel for who I am, what I need, and how to set about finding it.
I want to be hopeful.
Perhaps in time.
Thursday, November 26, 2020
A Non-holiday Holiday
Wednesday, November 25, 2020
Biscuits
Today's earworm: an ever-so-lighthearted song from Kacey Musgraves: Biscuits.
Adorable.
I hope you enjoy.
Tuesday, November 24, 2020
Stranger Things
I found this gem while sorting through the memorabilia.
I would have made an excellent extra on Stranger Things.
I wonder what I was thinking in that moment?
Monday, November 23, 2020
Lapdog
It's not as comfortable as Cherished Friend's lap, I'm sure, but New Old Dog still likes a lap-sit from time to time.
Sunday, November 22, 2020
It's a Day!
National Bacon Day is actually another day of the year, but I see no reason not to have more than one Bacon Day. So today shall be Bacon Day, too.
Bacon makes everything better.
Saturday, November 21, 2020
Comfort Zone
In every person's life, there are moments when it is necessary to step outside of the comfort zone. Many times, those steps yield a greater good -- though not without personal cost.
There are two ways to aid a person who is standing on the edge of the comfort zone:
1. Push them out.
Just do it.
You have to do it.
It's for your own good.
2. Encourage them to take the step themselves.
I know it's scary.
I'm here for you.
I believe in you.
The first one is a kind of "tough love" stance. (I use the definition of "tough love" provided by the Cambridge dictionary: the fact of deliberately not showing too much kindness to a person who has a problem so that the person will start to solve their own problem.) That may work for some people. When faced with hardship or difficulty, however, sometimes a lack of kindness is the opposite of what is needed.
In my view, it's easier for someone to take a step outside the comfort zone, knowing that there is support.
I will always choose to be the support person. I'm here for you.
What kind of person are you?
Thursday, November 19, 2020
Wednesday, November 18, 2020
Tuesday, November 17, 2020
Canceled
Offspring the Third let me know this morning that, due to the ever-worsening COVID situation in our home town, it's best that he not come home for Thanksgiving, but wait until winter break a few weeks later.
He's correct, and it's the smart thing to do. We'd already planned not to get together with extended family, because it's Not Safe. I confess that all the same, I felt a little pang, as if this decision was the final nail in the coffin that is Thanksgiving.
I have enjoyed the past few Thanksgivings, because they have been an opportunity to have my Important People all momentarily gathered together. Times are changing, though, and those days are past. Perhaps one day they'll come again, after the Pandemic.
Sunday, November 15, 2020
Saturday, November 14, 2020
Riding The Struggle Bus
Friday, November 13, 2020
Wednesday, November 11, 2020
Birthday Dinner
I was leafing through some (very old) photos over the weekend, and found this delight: Fritz the dachshund, enjoying his annual birthday meal of people food. Complete with placemat, silverware, a beverage, and his napkin tucked neatly into the collar of his very fine coat.
Excellent.
Tuesday, November 10, 2020
Belongings
I've tidying up a few loose ends from the packing-up-and-shipping-out of Cherished Friend's possessions. There were a couple of boxes of miscellany that needed to be taken home for repacking instead of going as-is onto the moving truck, and so I have been sorting those and storing or repacking items as necessary. (Poor Cherished Friend, being subjected to approximately 800,000 texts -- with photos! -- to ask about various things. He has been tremendously patient.) A few things will stay here, and others will go to his Oceanside.
It brings me a little bit of comfort, to have a couple of his possessions still here.
-----
When I was young (and rather slovenly, apparently), my mother would eventually tire of the disarray of my room, and when I was out of the house at school or in the yard, she would gather every single item that was not properly put away and put them into a pile in the middle of the floor. I still remember the shock of seeing that pile, and my constricted feelings as I picked up each item from the pile in turn and put it where it was supposed to go. It was no doubt an effective strategy, however, as it didn't happen often -- I must have managed to keep things tidier after The Pile appeared.
As you may imagine, even as an adult, I don't particularly like other people rearranging my possessions.
-----
I feel quite strongly that a person's possessions -- embodiments of that person's history and selfhood -- must be treated with respect and care. I bear this in mind whenever I handle someone else's things. I have done so for Offspring the First when she moved out of the house, and for Offspring the Third when he has needed help with maintaining a solid level of tidiness; and also to a lesser extent for Offspring the Second and Beloved Husband when need has arisen. I wanted to make sure to do so for Cherished Friend as well. Hopefully, he will feel safe in the knowledge that I tended his things as best I could. Moving is mentally exhausting, and knowing that one's belongings have been treated with care can ease the strain.
It's the best I can do from afar.
Monday, November 9, 2020
Oh Dear
Facebook ads apparently... think I'm a man? Who is either a) really lax about birth control, or b) wants to be (near) a furry, sweaty man in tight workout gear? Who needs special hygiene equipment?
Oh, dear.
Sunday, November 8, 2020
Saturday, November 7, 2020
It's Been Called
Biden/Harris 2020.
I am exhausted.
Yet, there's a glimmer of hope now, where once there was none.
Hallelujah, and amen.
Friday, November 6, 2020
Thursday, November 5, 2020
Tuesday, November 3, 2020
Reckoning Day
Herself speaks.
Approximately four years and a week or two ago, I sat on a bench in a lovely wooded area and contemplated the upcoming election. My companion, who was (and still is) no fan of Hillary Rodham Clinton, stated with just a tinge of bitterness:
I'm convinced that she's already won, they just haven't told us yet.
I think about that moment even now.
-----
I will forever remember exactly where I was standing when I realized that that man would win the 2016 election. Blood run cold. Crushed. The Horror.
And the past four years have been even worse that I could possibly have imagined at that point.
-----
I voted early -- a couple of weeks ago, with mask on, migraine present, trying not to breathe other people's air, tears in my eyes.
I found the tiniest ember of hope when I woke up this morning. I am afraid to nurture it. I cannot watch the news, cannot not watch the news. It is an agony.
There may not be a definitive result today. Or for days. I can't even think about it going to the Supreme Court, because I cannot bear to think of the Supreme Court right now.
Have mercy, Universe.
We shall see what happens.