I'm Sorry, I Can't Hear You

Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid. - Bernard Meltzer

Herself's long-term Acquaintance and Acquaintance's Spouse stopped by for a short visit yesterday.  Muffins were consumed and tea drunk, and then the conversation turned to hearing impairment, hearing loss, and hearing aids.  Acquaintance's Spouse wears hearing aids; Herself knows that a time will come when Beloved Husband will similarly need some assistance with his hearing. It is always helpful to obtain a point of view from Acquaintance's Spouse, for he has a mind for detail and technology that provides excellent information.

Suddenly, Acquaintance interjected:  "You know that people with hearing loss are more likely to get early dementia."

Herself was stunned.  Why, WHY, would Acquaintance say such a thing?  As if Acquaintance's Spouse has any control over his hearing loss; as if he could somehow prevent hearing loss or onset of dementia.  As if he -- who graduated from a highly technical university at an early age with advanced degrees, and who is renowned and admired in his field for his intelligence and his capacity for remembering facts and painting a thorough and helpful picture to solve any given problem -- would not quietly fear a decline of his mental capacities in these, his later years.

It was cruel.

Herself tried to provide a scientific defense:  "Lots of different issues can contribute to dementia," Herself began, but the various medical informational bits she has read wouldn't coalesce into a cogent sentence. She despaired. A silence fell over the table.

And then, Acquaintance's Spouse found the proper response:

"Such as a lack of exercise."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, touché.

It is well-known that long-term Acquaintance refuses to exercise.  Acquaintance would rather diet -- semi-starve and bemoan the lone lettuce leaf and small portion of plain chicken breast of dinner -- than exert at all.   Acquaintance steadfastly declines to go for a walk or perform any activity that might contribute to any form of sweating.  Yet:  Acquaintance, Acquaintance's Spouse, and Herself all well know that Acquaintance's slightly excessive weight, high blood pressure, low bone density, and chronic clinical depression could all be ameliorated by exercise.  And unlike age-related hearing loss, exercise is, in fact, within one's control.

Game, set, match, to Acquaintance's Spouse.

Acquaintance took the only tactic available -- claiming personal attack: "Stop picking on me!"

Herself shut down that avenue promptly with a lighthearted correction:  "Well then, don't pick on [Spouse]. If you would like to squabble, you'll have to do it elsewhere than at my kitchen table."

That was that.  The conversation moved on to other matters.

Herself is quietly proud of Acquaintance's Spouse for taking a stand.  Herself is exhausted, too, from being on guard for the next weird, odd, or unkind words that Acquaintance may speak. It shouldn't be this trying to spend time with someone.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. - Mother Teresa

This lovely brain was found at wisegeek.org.