Connect

We have been watching more of The Big Bang Theory. It is cleverly written and entertaining, and is a welcome diversion while Herself struggles with the elliptical trainer.  The characters are somewhat caricatures, but they hearken back to individuals Herself knew in college, which makes them all the more familiar and humorous.

There's a current subplot that makes Herself just a teeny bit squeamish, though:  one of the main male characters has recently begun dating a woman who is revealing herself to be needy and fearful of breakup, and so she uses sex as a tool/weapon to try to keep the man interested in continuing the relationship.  It makes Herself uneasy and sad, because it is all too often that young women do so; and yet, it it inevitable that a relationship maintained in such a manner will crash and burn, harming the woman's perceived self-worth in the process.  She hopes that the young women watching the show perhaps will learn something -- such as what not to do -- from the exaggerated portrayal.

It should be noted that this subplot is part of a greater overarching focus of the show:  the desire of the main characters to find someone with whom to have sex.

Herself realizes that the characters are intended to be single and in their late 20s, and understands that the particular demographic portrayed would indeed likely focus on finding a sexual partner. By the time she was in her late 20s, though, Herself was married with two small children and a high-powered job to support the family.  She really can't put herself into the shoes of the characters at all.  Furthermore, even if, by some terrible twist of fate, she were to become single now, she still cannot imagine. No hook-ups or hopping into bed with someone on the first date or within the first few weeks of beginning to date.  Just - no.

She knows other people see things differently, and doesn't judge anyone for taking an opportunity to spend naked time with someone they find attractive even though she wouldn't necessarily do so herself.  Perhaps it is due to her age, her inherent self-consciousness, or her recognition of her physical flaws -- she knows that she would decline a romp in the hay (as it were) if the occasion arose.  Perhaps, though, it is an acknowledgement of her own needs:  for her, physical intimacy requires a fairly high level of emotional connection in advance.

In other words:  she needs Love first.

She might be a bit of an idealist.  Or old-fashioned, some might say.  That's fine with her. She understands her own needs, and that understanding is what is important to her.

A little love can go a long way.