Boys and Girls

Yesterday, Offspring the Third received a telephone call from a classmate, inviting him to go down the block and meet at the local park for a half an hour.  He bicycled off cheerfully and returned later, happy to have spent time with his friends. 

Later, Herself’s Beloved asked Offspring the Third who the classmates were.  Offspring the Third hesitated for a moment, and then named their names.   The reason for his hesitation was immediately apparent:  the friends are GIRLS.

In middle school, as we all know, the relationships between boys and girls are tenuous, evolving, and an endless source of mockery.  Whether one child likes another, or LIKE likes another, frequently becomes a topic for debate and discussion.  Offspring the Third was clearly concerned that by revealing his friends to be girls, he was opening himself up to teasing.  Herself promptly reassured him, however, pointing out that she and her Beloved would never make fun of Offspring the Third for his female friends.  It is quite possible, Herself states, for boys and girls to be friends – good friends, even.

She asked him, “Do you know any women who have friends who are men?”  He promptly answered:  “You do.”  Satisfied, he wandered off to use his Wave Board.

Indeed, she does.  Herself is blessed with a small handful of truly wondrous people as her close friends.  You have seen me mention a couple of them before:  Herself's pea-in-a-pod friend, Herself's cherished friend.  Herself's pea-in-a-pod friend is a woman, and Herself’s cherished friend is a man.

Herself knows that adults are just as prone as middle-schoolers to wonder and whisper when a man and a woman are friends. To defend Herself against malicious talk is to imply that the gossip needs to be addressed in the first place.  At the same time, it is difficult for her to remain silent, because the suggestion that physical attraction is the sole reason a woman and a man would spend time together denigrates and diminishes an immensely valuable and treasured friendship.  Still, many people would see any attempt at an explanation as, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” 

There is no way to clarify without feeding the rumor mill.  So she does not try.  Those who know Herself well know the nature of her relationships – and the opinions of those who do not know her well do not matter.  (Herself's pea-in-a-pod friend taught her that, and she is ever so appreciative for the lesson.  Such a blessing is her pea-in-a-pod friend.)

Ultimately, Herself is grateful thrice over:

first, to have such a cherished friend;

second, to have the wise and understanding Beloved as her partner, for he is not uncomfortable with Herself’s friendship with her cherished friend, but instead, also chooses to be friends with her cherished friend;

and third, to have such shining examples of friendship and of partnership for her Offspring to see. 

A fortunate woman is she.