Weighty

 Herself speaks.

Let's talk a little bit about what it is to be overweight. Not the why of being overweight, but the how.

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I'm approximately fifteen pounds away from an "acceptable"/not-overweight point on the (outdated) BMI scale. It's hard to admit, because being overweight is so heavily (pun intended?) considered to be a moral failing in society today. Fat? You're slovenly, careless, undisciplined, just generally unworthy. This is the message that we encounter every day, in every context -- even in a medical context unrelated to weight. Need your pinky X-rayed because the joint is swollen and painful? By the way, lose weight. It's exhausting. And it leads many people, myself included, to be hesitant to seek medical care. We are afraid to step on a scale in the doctor's office, because it damns us, every time. 

Furthermore, pseudo-well-meaning strangers hop onto that medical bandwagon: I'm just worried about Fat Person's health.  No, you're not. Don't cloak your shaming in the guise of concern; we see right through. WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE FAT. Fat people are aware they're fat, and know full well that being fat will have an impact on their health. You're not worrying about our physical wellbeing; you're just reminding us yet again that we're deficient in your eyes. If you were truly worried about our health, wouldn't you also be concerned about our mental health? The constant negative barrage is harmful. We just want to live peacefully.  Instead, we exist in our fat bodies as a visible moral failure, and we know we are being constantly judged by those around us. It's mortifying. 

The body positivity movement helps a bit; and yet, it attracts so much negative attention, that it's hard to see the Good that is there. The message of the movement is so simple: fat people can be at peace with their bodies. They can even enjoy existing in their bodies as they are now, whether or not they are taking action to make physical changes. It is not a crime, not to display constant shame for the way one's body exists in the world. And it's OK to feed a fat body. All bodies need nourishment, even fat ones. Fat people don't need to starve themselves as some kind of penance for being the way they are.

It's OK to be happy, even when fat. 

The hard part is letting go of the indoctrinated shame, and to just be. To feed the fat body properly, to exercise it, and to tend to it, tenderly, as you would care for any other person. 

I'll keep trying.