Bon Jovi Flashback

Herself speaks.

Beloved Husband is away for business this evening, and so it is just I and the chihuahuas passing the time at home. I brought home a rotisserie chicken for them, and some mediocre grocery-store sushi for me, and we had a companionable dinner together. We decided not to clean the kitchen (I, because the dishes will still be there in the morning; and they, because they do not have opposable digits).  Instead, we parked ourselves in the study, and I worked a bit on a longer-term project while they snored peacefully in the blanket in my lap. A not unpleasant way to spend an evening.

We've now paused the work for a bit, and are perusing the interwebs while listening to old 1980s "hair band" ballads. The music of that era will always have a special place in my heart, for it is the music of my youth and coming-of-age. It doesn't seem so long ago, somehow.

Right now, it is Bon Jovi - I'll be there for you.  I think this is the first time I have listened closely to the lyrics.  If one were to listen to only the chorus, one would think that this is a song of devotion:

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

The verses, though, tell a larger story: that of bad behavior and regret:

I wasn't there when you were happy
And I wasn't there when you were down
Didn't mean to miss your birthday baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

Well, that's sad.

Perhaps it was the underlying sadness of this song that made it appeal so much to the angst-filled teenagers of the 1980s. For when we are young, everything is so important, each heartache monumental; each promise kept was a slice of heaven, and each promise broken was a glimpse into the abyss. 

All these decades later, the truth is: we do the best we can with what we have. We try, and we fail, and we try again. Sometimes we have behaved poorly; we have learned, and done better. Sometimes we have succeeded, and learned again, and done even better. And every moment is not the be-all, end-all as it seemed in our youth. With time comes the wisdom and the grace of understanding. Perhaps, after all, it is not unpleasant to have reached this point on the path. 

And so, we will once more focus on the chorus, in our eternal optimism:

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you.