One Step Forward

Herself speaks.

I have received results from the first step of the Task. I am relieved to report that it went better than I expected. Relief.

I think back to the moment a month ago when I finished the first step. I sat in my car, thoroughly dismayed. As I contemplated breaking my general self-imposed taboo against making phone calls -- so much was I in need of a reassuring voice -- I cast my mind forward to the larger steps of the Task, and was overwhelmed by the difficulty of it all. Could I even express my doubts and fears without my voice breaking? So uncertain, the future. So tired, my mind.

I allowed myself a half day of sorrow and dismay; a further day of non-thought; and then it was time to move forward. So much to do.
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Today:the results came in. On a strangely calculated scale scored between 50 and 150, I needed a minimum of 85 to move forward.

I received 127.

Hallelujah.

I will not rest on this success; there is much work yet to be done. For a shining moment today, though, the future of the Task seemed to speak of possibilities, rather than of impossibilities.

We shall see how it goes.