Be Civilized

Let us contemplate this fragment of a conversation:

"When people have been married for a long time, they treat each other with thinly veiled contempt."

Oh.

Contempt: con·tempt  kənˈtem(p)t/    (noun)

the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.  "he showed his contempt for his job by doing it very badly"

synonyms: scorn, disdain, disrespect, scornfulness, contemptuousness, derision; disgust, loathing, hatred, abhorrence.  "she regarded him with contempt"

No. That does not belong in marriage. That's wrong.

--------

It is an ever-changing creature, a marriage:  amorous, arduous, evolving. It is a lesson, a joy, a sacrifice; it is all the tiny things that fill the myriad spaces between the big things.  It is a partnership.  Kahlil Gibran describes the give-and-take of marriage best:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

--------

In the best of circumstances, the participants in a marriage blossom into themselves, side by side. They learn from one another and help one another to grow.  This is how it should be, we believe.  We think that it is nothing short of tragic when a person uses the word "contempt" to describe feelings towards one's spouse.  We will not use that word, nor shall we show that emotion.  We shall endeavor always to be kind, for that is what is most important. 

Nothing living should ever be treated with contempt. Whatever it is that lives, a man, a tree, or a bird, should be touched gently, because the time is short. Civilization is another word for respect for life.... ― Elizabeth Goudge, Green Dolphin Street

We respect all the creatures -- even Tiny Silly Dog.