Assorted Holiday Shopping Thoughts

Has everyone forgotten how to use the turn signals on their vehicles?

There are FAR too many people here.

It is so much better roaming the store with company, instead of by myself. 

I have bought gifts for the dogs.  I'm slightly embarrassed by this fact. 

"Baby it's cold outside" is the Date Rape Christmas song.

Those are really beautiful suits and I feel all nostalgic for the days that I would dress up and go into the office.

It sure is pleasant to see the Offspring enjoying one another's company. 

It will be nice for Beloved Husband to take the day off for Christmas.  I feel as though I've hardly seen him for months and months and months. 

The house is so messy, and I have no motivation to clean up. 

What could possibly be such a great bargain to make it worthwhile to stand in that 30-people-deep line?

I always feel weird receiving presents.  Somehow I don't feel like I ever deserve any. 

I would like to buy a giant pile of really good books. And have time to read them.  

Money. Sigh.

I would love an opportunity to wear heels like that.

That wretched Paul McCartney Christmas song makes me want to poke my eardrums with shrimp forks. 

I'm suffering from a tremendous lack of imagination in my gift selecting this year. I could be far more creative.  Blah.

I do like this carol. "O Holy Night..." I should play the piano this evening. 

Is the lighting in these fitting rooms purposefully designed to maximize one's flaws?

YE GODS I have far too much cleavage and holey moley I'm a cow and nothing fits properly and I give up trying to find something new to wear for that stupid function that I don't really want to go to anyway because the food will give me a migraine and I have horrid small-talk skills and I wish I could just stay home but if I do I will have even less adult interaction and be even more lonely OH FINE WHATEVER. 

I miss my sister and my brother so much. 

The best gift of all would be to have more of the people who are metaphorically close to my heart, also actually literally nearby, for Christmas. 

That's a cute Velveteen Rabbit.  For years I used to get the Offspring each one stuffed animal for Christmas.  They've outgrown that now. I am old. 

Why on earth would anyone bring a toddler to Toys R Us four days before Christmas?

GO HOME ALL YOU PEOPLE.