5 Shades of Annoyance, Redux

Imagine, after suffering from ambivalence in writing, I have prepared this second lengthy post for today. I am glad that my writer's block has dissipated for now.

NOTE:  Adult themes again.  You have been warned!

You may read the first 5 shades of annoyance here.

I have finished reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  Good riddance. 

Although the titillation factor increased dramatically in the latter two-thirds of the book, with an abundance of pages dedicated to the carnal activities of Ms. Steele and Mr. Grey, the faults of the first third of the book remained and, in fact, were magnified as the story progressed.  Shall we dissect the issues? Let's.

1'.  The writing style. Again.   The mundane and repetitive language persevered, but was periodically interrupted by a rare polysyllabic word.  It is as though the author realized the prosaic nature of the text and attempted to enliven the writing by selecting an occasional unusual term.  Most often, it occurred awkwardly in conversation.  How many people use the word "mercurial" when speaking casually with a close family member? I would venture:  not many. At all. In addition, the use of the "inner goddess" metaphor to describe the protagonist's feelings -- which was mildly amusing the first few times it was employed -- quickly became irritating, and then distracting.  There must be a better way to express inner thoughts and conflicting emotions.

2'.  The protagonist.  Again.  Anastasia Steele continued to be a thoroughly irritating character, and also displayed new unpleasant personality traits.  She attempted to make Mr. Grey jealous several times by mentioning other men in a suggestive manner (which, without a doubt, was an extremely immature and most unkind thing to do), and yet was completely unable to control her own feelings of jealousy when provided up-front information from Mr. Grey regarding his former relationships, even when he offered earnest and thoughtful reassurances regarding his commitment to her.  Furthermore, she appeared to be completely unable to accept gifts from Mr. Grey -- performing many angsty, and ultimately selfish, refusals of his kindness and generosity.  She was thoroughly unable to see that he might genuinely care for her.  (Dense as a box of rocks.)  In addition, despite her allegedly conducting significant research regarding what a Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship entails, she did not appear to try at all to explore or understand her role as a submissive.  Rather, she continually pushed back and tried to redefine the relationship more on her own terms.  She seemed to be held in thrall by Mr. Grey's physical form:  she wanted all the allegedly glorious (and nearly constant) sex, without the mental challenge of submission.  Perhaps it was too difficult for her tiny brain.

3'.  The confounding of D/s and Sadism-masochism. Again. Enough said.

4'.  The explanation for Grey's proclivities. Again. Ms. Steele spends quite a bit of time trying to force Mr. Grey to reveal information about his past and his involvement in the BDSM lifestyle, even though he is extremely uncomfortable and unhappy doing so.  She appears to have no clue at all that relationships, even intense ones, take time, and that her persistence threatens to derail everything that she desires.  And again:  why must his proclivities be due to some Terrible Dark Past?  Desire for unusual activities, and the need to maintain control as well as the wish to relinquish control, are parts of so many ordinary people. One need not be damaged to feel such things.

5'.  The sex. Again. Seriously, how may times can two individuals copulate in one twenty-four hour time frame?  It pushes all boundaries of credulity to read that Mr. Grey has such a short refractory period in between ejaculations; furthermore, Ms. Steele would surely have been walking like a horse-weary cowpoke after so much activity.  Contrary to what the story implies, most women's girly bits are not receptive to so much -- to use a word from the book -- pounding.  Even the descriptions of the spankings, Ben Wa balls, bondage and restraints and hair-pulling and positions-requiring-youthful-flexibility did not make me flinch nearly as much as imagining how fatigued her yoni must have been.

6 (new!).  The ending. Designed solely to ensure that the reader moved quickly on to the second book, it left Ms. Steele -- having fled from Mr. Grey -- in a puddle of tears in her apartment.  One hundred questions and moments remained unsettled.  That's a terrible way to stop a story.  Even if there are sequels contemplated, each book should stand on its own and resolve its own issues.

Plus:  I loathe unhappy endings, down to the innermost fiber of my being. Even flawed, poorly-written stories should have happy endings.

Especially when they involve love.