Drivers Ed

Herself dutifully sat through an online Defensive Driving Course yesterday in order to have her ticket resulting from the fender-bender dismissed by the court.  She learned a few interesting tidbits:  for example, it is now recommended that the driver hold the steering wheel at the 8 and 4 o'clock positions, rather than 9 and 3 or even 10 and 2 (as she had been taught, all those years ago).  It was useful to review the mechanics of What To Do In Various Difficult Situations such as hydroplaning, brake failure, skidding and so forth.  The Course was long and occasionally frustrating, but not wasted time, overall. 

The Course included, as required, a long segment on DUI.  It was the only portion of the course that used footage of actual people rather than Sim-like cartoons.  There was an interview with the parents of a teenage boy who had been killed in an accident because of a drunk driver, as well as an interview with the driver himself from his prison cell where he would be spending the next 17 years.  There were hospital scenes: a young man strapped to a back board and in a neck brace, bloodied, intubated, and brain dead; conversations regarding organ donation; quiet weeping.  It was appropriately horrifying.

Herself has a deep-rooted fear of losing someone she loves in this manner.  When she was expecting Offspring the first, one of her irrational-pregnant-woman fears was that her Beloved would be squished in a vehicular accident and would leave her to bear and raise the child alone.  That fear took root and grew slowly with the pregnancies and births of Offspring the Second and Offspring the Third, and then settled into a tiny nook in the back of Herself's brain. Every time her Beloved stayed at the office into the wee hours, or was out very late, the fear was there. Each occasion when he had a long drive for work, the fear was there. 

It still lives there today.

It is a tiny, persistent, quiet little fear:  not an obsessive worry, but a small lurking dark concern.  It surfaces whenever she knows that someone about whom she cares is out on the road at night or when the weather is inclement. She is restless and uneasy until they are home, even though she trusts that they drive safely.  She does not trust the rest of the people on the road to do so. 

She understands that a treasured life could at any time be cut short by the vagaries of fate, but her blood still runs cold at the thought of facing such a horror. 

Have mercy, Universe.  Look kindly on Herself's loved ones as they go about their lives, and protect them as best you can. Thank you.