Pandemic Thoughts, Seven

 Herself speaks.

I've hit the pandemic isolation wall. 

Six months in, I can no longer be as afraid/paranoid/prone to bleaching all surfaces as I was in the beginning. It's too exhausting to keep that pace. I do the best I can. I still use a lot of hand sanitizer. And I still avoid going out as much as humanly possible. 

I'm viscerally aware of the things that I wish I could do, but cannot do safely, right now:

- Go to the grocery store just to peruse the aisles

- Stop by the drugstore to pick up something small we need

- Visit the bookstore and see if anything catches my eye

- Go to the movies

- Have a meal in a restaurant

- Visit my in-laws

- Make plans to visit my parents

- Make plans to visit Cherished Friend.

Things that under other circumstances, would be ordinary (and which were taken for granted). 

There is no way to make future plans; life is on hold. I go to work, go home. Or I work from home. I place orders for pickup. I scrub the kitchen floor by hand, because I am acutely aware of uncleanliness and because the scrubbing occupies my time. I reorganize things. 

I avoid watching the news. The news is terrible. Every day, new terrible news. Everyone is angry. The planet is angry. I cannot bear to watch.

I mentally plan what I would pack if I were to go camping by myself. Because, as isolated as I am, I crave further isolation. I cannot bear too much company. It's not safe. 

Nothing is safe.

This is a hard place to be. 

Have mercy, Universe. We're suffering. 

Unchained

 Today's earworm: Unchained Melody (the Unrighteous Brothers).

'Tis an outstanding cover, and includes my favorite masked cowpoke, Orville Peck. 

I hope you enjoy. 

Gray

 Tiny Dog is getting a bit gray in the face. Now that she is 10, she's no longer young. She's as endearing as ever, though. 

Ruth's Hallelujah

I know that Hallelujah has been done, and re-done, and done differently, in so many ways. This one, however, is sublime.

May her memory be a blessing.

Webcam

I spoke by internet video chat with Cherished Friend today.  It is always heartwarming, to have that little bit of time in which we're both present in the same moment. 

After I hung up, I went into the kitchen to make dinner for the small dogs, and I momentarily had the strangest feeling -- as if I'd just walked out of room where Cherished Friend was, and if he was still there, somehow. 

It was such a bittersweet sensation. I miss his presence. 

I look forward to a time when I'll be able to see him in person again. 

The view from my webcam (minus my ugly mug). 

Not Enough 'NO' in The World

Sweet everloving Moses, NO, I will not lift weights like that. Yikes. 

RBG

 Herself speaks.

This past weekend, we drove out to visit the Cosmic Campground International Dark Sky Sanctuary. It was very nice: hardly any insects (unlike our previous camping trip); it was peaceful and quiet; and the night sky was as lovely as you would imagine, with the Milky Way in plain sight and an innumerable number of stars.

The route to the Campground took us through some very picturesque rolling hills. As I drove along, I decided to search for a radio station. The hills prevented most signal from getting through, but then I landed on a National Public Radio station. The announcer was midway through reciting a biographic summary, which I quickly recognized as being that of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Oh, no.

I listened. 

Two minutes later, Beloved Husband's phone pinged. "It's a 'breaking news' about Ruth Bader Ginsburg" he said, with a note of trepidation in his voice.

Oh, no.

-----

Other people have described in detail, the myriad accomplishments, the bright shining personality, the magnificence  of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 

Her loss is indescribable; her legacy, tremendous. 

Today, as I see photos of her 'army' of law clerks standing guard before her flag-draped coffin, I am bereft anew for all of us. 

May her memory be a blessing. 

Image found here:

https://www.today.com/news/ruth-bader-ginsburg-s-former-law-clerks-honor-her-supreme-t192341