Not Much Magic There

Herself has a thing or two to say today. Adult themes are involved.  You have been warned!

By now, I'm sure you've heard of the movie Magic Mike that arrives in the theaters this week.  The advertisements promise a plethora of almost unbelievably buff, gyrating hunks of manliness in various stages of undress, including (if one watches the red band trailer) hints of a view of a Man Package or two.  Women all over the internet, it appears, are swooning and drooling and exclaiming all about this movie.

To which I respond:  Meh.

I will certainly acknowledge that many women (and certainly some men as well) no doubt find the men of Magic Mike to be handsome specimens of humankind.  I admit that I watched the trailers and found the actors to be certainly well-muscled individuals. I do appreciate a man who can dance well.  All the same.... just no.

As we have discussed previously, attractiveness in men requires a certain amount of humbleness; however, the well-oiled look that is sported by the characters in Magic Mike -- and that could only be attained by hours and hours of daily workouts in the gym -- shows no such modesty.  Instead, it bespeaks of a "look at me" attitude that, in my opinion, would arrive hand-in-hand with a certain self-centeredness that would make such a man a very poor lover.  It would be all about him, how he looked, how much he could show off, how one (including himself) would worship his muscle-bound physique. 

That is not what desire is about.

What do women really want sexually?  That's a complex question.  I perused a very lengthy New York Times article that describes the scientific research addressing women's desire. There is no consensus or unifying theory.  One thing appears clear, though:  for women, desire is far more a mental event than a physical one. Bodily arousal is separate and distinct entity from desire itself. 

That certainly complicates matters for the ladies. And, no doubt, for the gentlemen with them.

One particular idea that I read seemed to be on point for me:  the thought that it is being desired, rather than desiring, that forms the basis for female arousal.  This makes quite a bit of sense.  Male strippers such as those depicted in Magic Mike are exhibiting themselves as objects of desire.  (Actually, come to think of it, female strippers could be described as displaying themselves similarly.) That is why I find Magic Mike to be unappealing:  I am not necessarily interested in lusting after a man. I am far more tantalized by the thought that a man yearns for me.

That certainly seems like rather a naked statement (no pun intended). I suspect I am not alone among women, though, in feeling this way.  Contemplate it.  And tell me what you think.

Motivation

Our motivation is missing.  Have you seen it?

Yesterday, we spent much of our time ensuring the floor was mopped, the carpets vacuumed, the laundry folded and put away, the kitchen tidied, and the food prepared in a timely manner, for we knew that we would have Excellent Company for dinner.  Herself was quite cheerful about the whole day.  Even a challenging telephone conference call for Work did not dampen her spirits.  When she knows that some of her favorite people will be gracing her with their presence, she is galvanized into action.

Today, not so much.  There is no adult company to be had. All is quiet.

Without the motivation of adult companionship and conversation, Herself lacks any incentive to tackle the household chores. There is no catalyst for activity.  And so, very little is accomplished.

The Offspring and the pets do still need to be fed, though.   I think we shall dig into the watermelon; even the dogs will enjoy a small slice.  Perhaps after some fruit our outlook will change for the better.

Chicken Soup With Rice

What a glorious and unexpected pleasure, to have Herself's Father, her Beloved Husband, and her Cherished Friend all sitting at the kitchen table for lunch today. They were joined by Offspring the Third as well.  Such a delight to look after all of them together.

Desert Plant

Random late-night thought: I do love cacti.

Need To Know

Herself finds herself irritating once more a perpetual thorn in her side.  She knows she does it.  She cannot help it.  She hopes, somehow, each time that it will be different, and is disappointed when it is not. 

Herself's long-standing Acquaintance, about whom we have written before, oftentimes manages in many of the conversations with Herself, to cast aspersions on the various aspects of Herself's life: Herself's hobbies (for example, visiting the range this morning with Beloved Husband and Offspring the third); Herself's interests and small pleasures (guinea pigs, fresh crayons); what Herself does or doesn't do with the Offspring (when to obtain orthodonture or what lessons to provide); and other matters.  In addition, Acquaintance is frequently bleak or misanthropic.  The Acquaintance also provides Herself with unsolicited advice about mundane social niceties that -- even with a paucity of interpersonal skills -- Herself manages to remember to do without any prompting.  Every conversation contains at least one negative, disapproving, or didactic statement; if Herself is 'lucky,' more than one problem, dark statement, or advice-presenting opportunity can be covered in a single telephone call.

Herself has come to the conclusion that she can't really share any detail about her life with this Acquaintance.  It is just too frustrating when each chat devolves into admonition or pessimistic commentary.  It is sad, too, for the Acquaintance would like to be involved in Herself's life, and does not appear to realize the extent of the problem. At the same time, Herself cannot bring herself to have any kind of heart-to-heart conversation with Acquaintance to point out the issue in hopes of resolving it:  Acquaintance would be devastated, weeping and accusatory and defensive, and yet, ultimately, would likely not change. 

Herself chooses not to subject herself to the emotional fallout from such a conversation. Instead, she needs to try to break the cycle, to limit conversation to "need to know" information only.  Perhaps she will focus on asking Acquaintance more questions about Acquaintance's own life, so that she need answer none regarding her own.  That might work. It must be done, though - Herself cannot keep expecting a different result any more.  That is fruitless, and she must accept it.

She must acknowledge that she cannot have the relationship with Acquaintance that she would like.  It is time to let that hope go.

I do not want what I cannot have.

Photograph taken at Aden Crater.

Novel Ideas

Herself has begun working on her story again.

The writing proceeds at a glacial pace.  Still, it makes her happy.

Perhaps some day she will be brave enough to share it with you.

Hiding

It's been a long time since Herself had a migraine quite as crippling as this one:  nausea, dizziness, headache, run-over-by-a-bus sensation.  No Fun.  We'll be resting quietly and unobtrusively like a lizard on some bark until it passess.