Convergence/Control

The ottoman-shaped dog and the itty bitty dog have a comfortable relationship.  Itty bitty dog, despite her miniscule size, attempts to dominate ottoman-shaped dog.  She lets ottoman-shaped dog know this by growling or barking shrilly whenever ottoman-shaped dog approaches the person or the food that itty bitty dog is currently guarding.  Ottoman-shaped dog -- master of patience -- allows itty bitty dog to be queen and quietly goes about his business.  He does not deliberately antagonize the itty bitty dog (in contrast to large elderly oafish dog, who purposefully retrieves for herself any toys that itty bitty dog finds interesting).  He is kind to her - probably more than she deserves, considering how often she snaps at him.

Occasionally, itty bitty dog will try to interact playfully with ottoman-shaped dog.  Ottoman-shaped dog is perplexed by "playing," for he is quite a serious soul, and defuses itty bitty dog's antics by licking her tiny head.  Itty bitty dog seems to enjoy the sensation, for she closes her eyes and appears to relax.  Once recently, she even allowed him to rest his chin upon her ever so briefly when he had finished licking her noggin.  She then quickly squirmed away and ran off to pull the stuffing out of a toy.

Itty bitty dog's territoriality (which she displays not only towards ottoman-shaped dog, but also towards the humans in the household) reminded Herself a bit of our previous musings on touch in between people: itty bitty dog is vulnerable because of her diminutive size, and so, she attempts through preemptive noise to be in charge of exactly how interaction occurs. Similarly (though with far less ruckus), Herself tends to initiate physical contacts in order to manage them better. And then -- a lightbulb moment -- Herself connected these dots to other dots: nurturing as preemptive withdrawal to avoid vulnerability, as we contemplated recently. Is it all a question of taking action first, in order to have (conscious or subconscious) control? Is it all a matter of safety? Perhaps so.  

Herself wonders about the roots of such a hard-wired desire for control.  Are all people similar? When do we feel safe enough to relinquish control, for just a little while?  Do we ever? It must be exhausting, constantly refraining and restraining and suppressing oneself out of fear of hurt, while simultaneously actively attempting to exert control.  No wonder people are so often tired.

We all need the comfort of another's physical presence on occasion, and we all need to be able to be vulnerable in safety.  Such things nourish and restore the soul - both for small dogs and humans alike. 

  

Fun With Clay

Sometimes on weekends, we play games: Scrabble, cribbage, perhaps chess. Other times, we fiddle around with what is on hand:  bits of paper, small plastic pieces that snap together, clay. Here is one creation from a while back. It's a tiny bit grisly, but we found it humorous.

We amuse ourselves.  It is good.

Cootie Catcher

Do you remember Cootie Catchers?  At least, that is what they were called when Herself was young. They were used for grade-school fortune-telling:  how one would do on the quiz of the state capitols; what one should have for dessert; whether one liked, or LIKED, a favored-boy-of-the-moment.

At Herself's elementary school, cootie catchers were the mysterious domain of the pretty, feminine, popular girls. It was a preteen honor to have one of Those Girls tell one's fortune with the cootie catcher, even though one would be slightly terrified lest the cootie catcher reveal that one was, in fact, enamored of a particular classmate. 

 Herself never knew how to make cootie catchers - until last night, when she was taught. For some reason, this positively delights her.  She made several this morning, just because she can.  

Pushing The Season

Spotted in the grocery store today -- more than eleven weeks prior to that holiday.

Sigh.  

Boo!

It's that time of year again - time to contemplate Halloween.  Eeek!

Herself has an idea for her Halloween costume; unfortunately, she is at the moment having a wee bit of difficulty. Or rather, two slightly-more-than-medium-sized difficulties.  She had ordered a garment necessary for the costume, and once it arrived, she tried it on only to discover that there is absolutely no way that her cleavage can be properly ensconced in the garment.  There is too much of her. Or not enough of the garment. Or both. 

She is trying hard not to succumb to the despondency that such an event so often triggers: the "I'm fat" melancholy that is never far away.  She realizes she'll never be tiny, waiflike, or even thin; all the same, she still can't quite come to terms with being a tad Rubenesque.  Alas.  

She's a bit stymied at the moment; hopefully, though, she can pull the proper attire together and make her costume come to fruition. We shall see. 

Expectations and Wants

Herself, Beloved Husband, and Cherished Friend have been contemplating making arrangements for a camping trip without the Offspring.  While the Offspring are wonderful people, there are times when it is important to have some Time Away to have relaxation and conversation amongst just adults.

It has been suggested by a kind and well-intentioned acquaintance that rather than doing such a camping trip, Herself and Herself's Beloved Husband should go away for a weekend to a spa, or to a nearby city known for its art community.  It's almost a sort of obligation, a type of societal expectation:  thou shalt have a fancy shiny romantic weekend away with Beloved Husband in an art-laden or personal-service-oriented location.  

Herself understands that many people do enjoy spas and art museums. She does enjoy the occasional art museum, too. She also understands that many people would willingly spend their portion of recreational time doing such things. These are not, however, the activities that Herself -- or Beloved Husband -- wish to do. 

Herself's Beloved Husband is a very busy man. We all know this. He works extraordinarily hard. He does not spend as much time at home as he, the Offspring, or Herself would like.  His free time is extremely valuable, and should be spent in a way that maximizes his enjoyment and relaxation. What would he like to do, given the opportunity? Venture out into the desert and have target practice with the firearms. Go camping, hiking, or RVing. These are the kinds of things that Herself also enjoys, and that their Cherished Friend does, too - and their enjoyment is enhanced by one another's company. Thus, the plan for a camping trip together. 

As for Herself's time alone with Beloved Husband? Herself's wish is not, as might be assumed by acquaintances, to spend a weekend visiting a different city or staying in an upscale resort with Beloved Husband.  What Herself would like most of all, is to have a little bit of additional time with him on a daily basis.  That's quite ordinary, she knows - but the vast majority of life is made up of commonplace occasions. Those are the moments in which she would like to have his presence.

These things might not be what other people expect, but they are what she wants. Life is far too short, and time far too valuable, to waste it upon what others expect. And so, she promises herself that she shall follow the wants, not the expectations.

Klonk

Herself has fallen off of the "don't eat things which are known to induce headache/migraine" wagon.

Whoops.

She did well for a little while, but the menu was so very restrictive. Plus, the ice cream was calling her name.

She knows that if she would only exert sufficient self-discipline, she would have fewer headaches.  She's rather a bit annoyed with herself for succumbing to temptation, but at the same time, has decided not to berate herself too much. That's not particularly effective. Instead, she is just going to try again, starting today.

Currently taboo foods include the following:
Baked goods and processed (boxed) cereals;
Aged or processed dairy products -- no yogurt, cheese, sour cream, buttermilk, ice cream;
Chocolate (sigh);
Processed, fermented, pickled, smoked or marinated things;
Artificial sweeteners;
Nuts, peanuts and seeds;
Monosodium glutamate, yeast extract, and anything labeled with "natural flavorings";
Nitrates and nitrites -- no cold cuts, processed or cured meats, no sausage or hot dogs, and, saddest of all, no bacon;
Red wine (no loss there);
Pork, shellfish, and canned seafood;
Soy-based products;
Avocados, bananas, raw onions, citrus, figs, and dried fruit.

That seems like a lot of things, doesn't it?

There are also some questionable foods that she's eliminating for now, but may attempt to add back into her diet later: wheat; eggs; plain milk; and butter.  And lastly, there are foods that she's keeping for now, even though they may have to go later: potatoes and tomatoes.

Things that appear to be safe include oatmeal (with brown sugar), tilapia (boring whitefish), corn tortillas, green beans, broccoli, rice. And corn chips - like Fritos.  All is not lost!

It's a bit plain, the non-headache diet.  Plus, processed and packaged foods are out, so she must exert the effort to cook more for herself. She would rather cook for other people.

We shall see how it goes.

One bright spot - sushi, like this tasty platter from the last time Herself and Beloved Husband went out to dine, may still be on the menu.