Island

Although I had hoped to be making a pilgrimage to Oceanside, the Universe has conspired against me, and I am in fact going nowhere except for Disappointment Island.

I knew I was taking a risk in making Plans. But the odds were in my favor, based in past experience, so I rolled the dice. And alas. I lost. 

I am so very tired of my hamster wheel of Grief and Responsibility. I wanted a few days of respite, in the company of one of my favorite people, someone who does not add to the Grief and Responsibility. Apparently, though, that was Too Much To Ask.

I have rescheduled my aspirations. (They are no longer "Plans.") I am bitterly certain that the Universe will conspire to thwart me again in the future, however, because I have allowed Despair to sit at my table and Hope has left to go and sulk elsewhere. 

I cannot have nice things, and tonight, there is no consolation to be found. 

We will just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.