Chocolate Advice

The chocolate wrapper said, "Book the flight."

Well, I already did. 

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A couple of weeks ago, I took the bull by the horns and made some plans. I have exactly a one-week pause in the middle of my Project, and so I got authorization to take time off of work at the same time. And then I purchased plane tickets.

The most pressing travel concern is seeing my parents -- one of them has some significant health issues right now, and I should go see them in person.  It's really important to them, and to me, that we have some time together. In case time is a little short. 

And while I was at it, I decided to include a trip to Oceanside to see Cherished Friend, too.

It was a weirdly difficult decision, to incorporate a purely-for-the-pleasure-of-it portion in the trip alongside a family-obligation portion. I haven't been away from home for a full week since... I cannot remember when, if ever. I have previously kept trips brief, because there used to be young Offspring, or needy dogs, or other Home-Front Obligations, and I would feel uneasy if I were away for too long. However, the Offspring are all young adults and (mostly) independent now; and the bunnies will be completely ambivalent about my absence, especially since they will have Offspring the First and Beloved Husband to tend to them. So the time seemed right to purposefully plan something that I would enjoy. Oceanside, it is.

Since I booked the tickets, two of my flights have already been changed by the airlines. And while this is not surprising, it makes me uneasy. What if the plans don't work out? It's entirely possible that things will change more, or the weather will turn foul, or something else will transpire that will make things Not Come To Pass. And so I try not to look forward to the trip, just in case. The Universe hears when we anticipate things, and then... things go wrong. 

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When Cherished Friend left this desert land, I had this vague idea in my head that I would work on myself, so that by the time I was able to visit, I would be the best version of myself: I would work out and be in better shape, I would be organized and capable and accomplished, I would turn up and be helpful and good company. I think I was trying to console myself with thoughts of I can still thrive even if Cherished Friend is not nearby. 

Thriving has proved to be a little difficult. Because Pandemic, and Life, and Stuff. Such it is. 

And so, I will turn up in Oceanside -- be it on this trip, or at a later point if things do not come to pass as I would like -- and I will be somewhat frazzled, just as chunky as ever, and Pandemic-tired. 

I wish I had more to offer. Perhaps someday.

One thing I know, though: that Peace will be found in Oceanside, however briefly I am there, because Cherished Friend is there. And I will be glad to see him.