Protect

New Old Dog is learning from Tiny Dog, how to protect the house. Good Dogs.

Nest

New Old Dog likes his crate very much. When we go upstairs at night, he tucks himself in. He also rests inside when I use the elliptical trainer nearby.

I am glad he has found a place to call his own. 

Home

Tiny Dog is far more tolerant of the "interloper" in the house than I thought she would be. As long as he remembers that she is IN CHARGE, all will be well. 

Sniff the Breeze

A Good First Day, Part Three

New Old Dog makes himself right at home on my lap. 

Take what you need, New Old Dog. This is your home now. 

A Good First Day, Part Two

New Old Dog has a hearty appetite, and looks worried if we try to move the plate before he is done. I think perhaps he had competition for food in his prior life. Do not worry, New Old Dog, you can take your time and eat all you need.

A Good First Day, Part One

Both Small Dogs do enjoy a morning walk.

Chico

He is 12. He has 4 teeth. And as of tonight, he is ours. 

Age

Herself speaks.

This weekend, while sitting in the salon patiently waiting for the hair dye to banish my gray roots, I perused a high-fashion magazine. It had a photograph of a newly married couple on the front -- a young tattooed pop star (him) and a model and "television personality" (her) (according to Wikipedia). I never made it to the main article about them, though:  I was fascinated by the advertisements.

Page after page after page of expensive couture offerings: clothing in remarkable shapes and fabrics, shoes of impossible height and sparkle, bags and purses that likely cost more than an average mortgage payment, jewels galore. There were some truly beautiful items. Ethereal gowns, meant to be worn by otherworldly creatures, with diadems for the perfectly oval heads balanced on their swanlike necks, and stilettos which would scarcely touch the ground as they moved, dreamlike, through immaculate surroundings.

The one thing that stood out the most:  how very young the models were. There is no doubt that the vast majority of them are not old enough to buy alcohol, or even to vote, and possibly not even to drive. These girls, with their clearly-photoshopped elongated legs, wobbling on the highest of heels, like baby giraffes. Childlike freckles emphasized, teeth that looked as though their adult canines had not yet completely grown in. And yet there they were, painted and airbrushed and posed provocatively, lips open ever so slightly, eyes half-mast, come hither.

Perhaps I am Old -- for it was almost shocking.
-----

Today as I go about my business, I think about the Beauty and Fashion Industries, and how they train women to be dissatisfied with their appearances. The vast majority of us are not barely-pubescent, lanky and toned adolescents. We likely never were, and certainly never will be again. In my peer group, we are middle-aged, with nascent wrinkles, cellulite, extra perimenopausal pounds that settle staunchly around our waists, and assorted scars of pregnancy and childbirth and midlife medical issues. Gray hair. Sunspots that are not remotely the cute little freckles of the child models. And fatigue, sometimes etched into our skin, our very bones. How can we compete with the visions of the magazines? We cannot.

And so we march forth, doing what we must do as always, performing occasional self-improvement rituals such as dying our hair or rubbing expensive ointments into our skin -- and at the same time, still trying valiantly to love ourselves the way we are. Sometimes we succeed. Sometimes we fail; for that yearning to be young and thin and beautiful and alluring is built into our society, and (despite our best efforts to the contrary) almost into our very worth. We are haunted by the seeming value of being young and thin and attractive. What can we do?

Nothing. We can do nothing. It is not ours to have.

The best we can do, it seems, is just to be ourselves. Perhaps if enough of us do so, our collective voices will drown out those that would tell us we are not worthy of love, just the way we are.

The Flowers of Spring

In the autumn I gathered all my sorrows and buried them in my garden.
And when April returned and spring came to wed the earth, there grew in my garden beautiful flowers unlike all other flowers.
And my neighbors came to behold them, and they all said to me, "When autumn comes again, at seeding time, will you not give us of the seeds of these flowers that we may have them in our gardens?" - Kahlil Gibran

Picture copyright 2019, Mediocria Firma. 

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

Imagine

The First Lizard of Spring

Springtime

The weather is warmer, the wind is blowing:  spring is in the air.

It was such a spring day as breathes into a man an ineffable yearning, a painful sweetness, a longing that makes him stand motionless, looking at the leaves or grass, and fling out his arms to embrace he knows not what. ― John Galsworthy, The Forsyte Saga

No one can capture longing quite like Melissa Etheridge: her poetic lyrics, her intensity. Brava.

Exhibit 1:  Come to my Window.

Exhibit 2: I'm the Only One.

Exhibit 3: Angels Would Fall.

Exhibit 4: I Will Never Be The Same.

And finally: Exhibit 5 (brand new!): Wild and Lonely.

Moonrise Mountain

I love the moon so.

I Need To Be Here

Picture copyright 2017, 2019, Mediocria Firma. 

All rights reserved. Used with gratitude.

Into the Pit

Herself speaks.

Unsurprisingly, I have fallen into a metaphorical pit. It is the pit of "prioritizing others' needs and wants over my own all the time" -- a habit that is so ingrained that at this point, it takes conscious and concerted effort to overcome.

Part of the problem has been the wretched cold I have had. It's been 10 days since I first felt that phlegmy, scratchy-tonsil sensation that let me know I was in for a germ-fest; I'm finally feeling better, thank goodness. Now, though, I am becoming aware of all the things I put onto the back burner while I was a festering fomite -- laundry, vacuuming, organizing.  Not to mention, the things that would be most useful/enjoyable for me:  exercising, planning non-work activities I will enjoy such as cooking new things or going for a walk or reading a book.

The other difficulty has been that each of the Offspring is struggling a little bit right now -- nothing earth-shattering or life-threatening, but small worries here and there. I'm doing my best to be encouraging and supportive, and I know they will all make it through their individual concerns. Still,  I feel almost afraid to focus on myself, because that would mean I was not concentrating my thoughts and mental energy on helping them.

(As if, somehow, my pausing the activity of mentally willing things to go well for them would somehow cause things *not* to go well. Lord knows I don't have that amount of control over anything. Even my own things.)

The truth is:
I have needs.
I am not meeting them.

I cannot help, nurture, protect those around me all the time, if I do not tend to myself as well.

I need to learn how.

I don't even know where to start.

One step at a time.

Cup found here: 

https://confettistyle.com/you-can-pour-from-an-empty-cup/

Well That Sounds Terrible

The movie may, in fact, be hilarious. What Men Want.

Yet, the premise -- to be able to read men's inner thoughts -- sounds really... unpleasant.

No, I don't want to know what they are thinking.

Some things should just be left inside people's heads.

The Windy Season

Neighborhood bird takes refuge in the flower pot because it is MUCH TOO WINDY to fly. 

HONK

SWEET FANCIFUL MOSES.

Thank you to Beatrice the Biologist 
(http://www.beatricebiologist.com/)
for capturing the present situation so well.

Orchideous!

Missed

Yesterday, I ran a couple of errands with Offspring the Third. I had forgotten how his company on errands is enjoyable. We had run errands together over his winter break -- why did that seem so long ago?

And later, while I was working in the kitchen, my phone rang. It was Cherished Friend, who apparently had dialed by accident. We spoke briefly, and I wondered: when was the last time I had heard his voice? It was not that long ago, I know, and yet it seemed ages.

And in the evening, when all three Offspring and Beloved Husband were laughing and joking together, I thought about the last time they were all in the same room -- was it Christmas?

Ordinary life gets in the way of these relaxed moments together.

It is these occasions that remind me of the self-protective mechanisms I have put in place over time: life is easier if I do not think about how much I enjoy their company -- because then I miss them less during their absences. My heart can only bear so much.

There is never enough time with these, my People.

Bless them. I wish All Good Things for them, always.

Lapdog

Offspring the Third arrived home yesterday for spring break. Whoopee! This evening, we invited Offspring the First and her beau over to the house, and we were joined by Offspring the Second as well.

All the Offspring, under the roof. Lovely.

Tiny Dog did not know what to do with herself -- so many of her favorite people, ALL IN THE SAME ROOM AT THE SAME TIME. She ran back and forth, accepting tiny pieces of the pizza from everyone, and then threw her toys around exuberantly, before wearing herself out and settling into Offspring the Third's lap for a bit of a rest. She and I both listened to all of them, with their banter and their witticisms and their good humor. 

It warms my heart, to have all the Offspring in the same room. I love them so. 

So Many Possibilities

Possibilit-eyes? 

TGIF

Oh Dear

Sweet fanciful Moses. Facebook, WHY are you showing me this ad?

(For the record, I am a firm believer that one husband is plenty.)

53

Tiny dog wishes Beloved Husband a happy birthday! And wishes he would share his food, too.

We wish for all good things for you, Beloved Husband.  Happy birthday.

Cacti

I am ready for spring.

Picture copyright 2019, Mediocria Firma. All rights reserved. 

Used with gratitude.

Helping with the Laundry

The Swanky Hotel: A Picture Essary

Let's start with the window seat, with view:

The closet, with robe:

The shower, with showerhead designed to be like rainfall:

A bible and a Book of Mormon - with the drawer purposefully left ajar so guests would be made aware that they were there:

The cabinet with safe, coffeemaker, fully-stocked mini fridge, and snacks:

Snacks will cost you, though:

But if you are thirsty, so many options:

Including alcohol!

And if that wasn't enough, you could order an in-room massage:

So many amenities. It was pretty nice, indeed.

Sign of the Times

"App based rides."