Somehow, it's nearly two weeks into 2019. I feel as though I am running forever behind, and wonder whether I will ever catch up? I know I will, eventually; I just need more time.
In the past few weeks, I have borne witness to various griefs of others: a breakup with a significant other, unexpected death of a pet, and more. It is a necessity, to sit with others during their times of need: to bring comfort, if possible; to murmur consoling words; and just to be present. I am not uncomfortable with other people's sorrows. I am not afraid of others' tears. If my presence is helpful, then I am there, in a heartbeat.
In helping others, though, there is a toll to self. While I am not quite on the level of Counselor Deanna Troi of Star Trek: The Next Generation, I am fairly empathic. And relatedly, I tend to absorb the feelings of others. While these may perhaps be useful abilities on occasion, they come with a cost: I need a certain amount of time to process happenings, and to allow the feelings of others that I have encountered to disperse.
Think of the soul as a pool of cool water, into which a cup of hot water has been poured -- the hot water must spread out and be dissipated into the cool water, until a stable temperature is reached throughout. It takes time, patience, and some solitude: for a pool of water that is buffeted by the wind or the rain cannot reach an internal balance.
This is why my solo hike in the desert last weekend was so helpful. Any turmoil in my inner pool can evaporate into the air of the desert. I am better, and more able to help again.
It may take a few more solo hikes to get things settled properly once more.
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