Festive

The local airport is quite festive this time of year.

Special Pillow

My mother embroidered this pillow,  eons ago. Pretty.

"No"

Tonight's earworm: No (Meghan Trainor).

It's quite catchy. It's a young woman's song, though: a song for women who are pursued, and are disinterested. I am not sure I have, in fact, ever been in a position to tell a persistent suitor to leave me alone -- it's been a very very long time since I was pursued.

Call me beautiful, so original
Telling me I'm not like other girls
I was in my zone before you came along
Now I'm thinking maybe you should go....

My name is no, my sign is no, my number is no
You need to let it go, you need to let it go

At first, the last verse of the song didn't seem quite right in context:

I'm feeling untouchable

Untouchable, untouchable

I had to look up the definition of "untouchable." because in my thought, untouchable does not mean "not desiring of being touched", but "one is not desirous of touching". However, the dictionary covers both intentions: "that may not be touched" or "too distant to be touched", as well as "vile or loathsome to the touch."

Untouchable. Let's assume the former, not the latter. We hope.

Autumn

Herself speaks. 

Thanksgiving has come and gone. It was heart-filling to have Beloved Husband, all the Offspring (plus bonus boyfriend of Offspring the First), my wonderful in-laws, and Cherished Friend around the table. It's so rare that I have so many of my favorite people in the same room. Lovely. 

In the blink of an eye, everyone has dispersed back to their respective lives. I am left with the leftovers, alone with my thoughts as I contemplate how much I miss having them here, knowing that while they are under my roof, they are safe and warm and protected. I cannot shelter them from the slings and arrows of life, but I can do my best to make sure they are well and content while they are here. 

Help I Have Too Many Vowels

Jingle Bell Dog

Outside

Stuffed

A Little Quiet Music

Tonight's earworm: Anam Cara by Mike Golay.

I hope you enjoy.

Holiday Hugs

Herself speaks.

We're quite close to the beginning of Holiday Season now: it kicks off with Thanksgiving in just a couple of days, and marches through the end of November into December, all the way to Christmas and then to New Year's Eve, trailing to quiet end at the beginning of January. It's a lot of activity for under six weeks. 

There are many things I enjoy about this Season: cooking a big meal; finding just the right gift for someone; twinkling lights, evergreens, and bows from the presents stuck all over the dog. There is one tricky aspect of the season, though:  all the hugging.

I would like to be a huggy person: the type of person who is comfortable with hugging, patting, casually offering affection in the form of touch to those around them. I am stifled, though, by two factors: a concern that certain people around me are most decidedly not huggy people in general, and a subtler, yet more problematic, concern that people do not want to be touche by me in particular.

I'm quite aware of this issue because I only like to be touched by certain people, and even then, it varies whether am comfortable if I initiate the contact, or whether I prefer the other person to do so. I don't want to intrude on the physical space of those who prefer to have a larger personal space bubble, and want to give them the opportunity to initiate contact if they are interested, and not to do so if they would prefer so. 

In addition, there are also specific people by whom I prefer not to be touched at all, even though social convention requires that we exchange polite brief physical contact. And I find myself wondering, are there people who feel the same way about me -- obligated, yet inwardly cringing? That would be terrible. I don't want that. And so I refrain from touching others more often than I might otherwise, lest I intrude into personal space where I am definitely not wanted. If I am brave enough to contact someone, I watch each tentative touch carefully for signs of annoyance or discomfort. And I worry that I offend. 

Behind it all, too, is the need to be touched with kindness. 

I wish the simple act of human contact were less fraught. 

I might need a hug. 

Lichens

One of my favorite parts of being out in Nature is finding mosses and lichens.

I want to go camping again.

Soon. I hope.

Pillow

Preparing Ahead

Since next week will be a regular work week from Monday through Wednesday, there will not be too much time to handle holiday necessities; therefore, we are attempting to do the bulk of the shopping and preparation this weekend. Tiny Dog wants you to know that she personally supervised setting the table for Thanksgiving.

Coming Along

Keeping Warm

I spy, with my little eye....

Thank You

Herself speaks.

This past weekend, I did some much-overdue organizing of various cabinets, including the pantry. I came across the bag of special dog food that we had for Elderly Three-toothed Dog.

Time to let that go.

And I had a momentary pang, because I realized that although he had faithfully sat with me for hours and hours each day for weeks and weeks while I prepared for The Task of taking the bar exam, I never had the opportunity to tell him that I passed.

It seems silly, I know. He would have had no idea what the significance of "passed the bar" was. Yet, I wish I could tell him that I appreciated his support, all those days.

Thank you, Tio. Good boy.

Goodbyes

Herself speaks.

While I was away recently, I had an opportunity to see my sister and her family for a few hours. It was lovely. And so bittersweet.

My sister is a truly wonderful person. I am reminded of a passage from the beginning of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, when Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour get married: Fleur's radiance shines upon everyone around her, and they are also made radiant because of her. My sister is like this: she shines on everything and everyone around her. It is hard not to feel completely insignificant in her company -- not because she makes me feel inconsequential (to the contrary, she is ever so warm and delightful), but because I cannot help but feel that I pale in comparison.

Sometimes I forget how lovely it is to be with her because I see her so rarely. We talk on the phone sometimes, and text often, but in-person visits are rare due to geographic constraints. And when I do finally visit with her, when we part it is hard not to be overwhelmed by the sense of loss.

She is one of the few people whose presence is a comfort to me. And I realize with every goodbye how much I have enjoyed that comfort, and I am bereft that I have it so rarely.

This is the way it is, though: the people I love most are often physically -- or metaphorically -- distant, due to time or distance or all-consuming employment or other natural, unavoidable reasons. I do the best I can to be in the Moment when I am with them, because I do not know when I will have such time and comfort again.

My heart.
Goodbyes are hard.

Perhaps that is why Goodbye to You (by Ben Harper) speaks to me so clearly.

Maybe tomorrow I can start anew. 
I just don't know how to say goodbye to you. 

Oddities

Behold, three separate advertised products, all in my Facebook feed at the same time.

Why, Facebook, Why?

This one is highly specific: for Bob Ross lovers only.

This is kind of neat, actually. I would put this in my yard.

What in the everloving Pete is this about?

Where does one use such a specific decal?

In this strained political climate, am almost afraid to find out.

Endearing Things

Herself speaks.

Offspring the Third is very much a People Person. I'm not sure exactly how that came to pass, since no one else in the immediate nuclear family is much of a People Person. Like his siblings, though, he marches to the beat of his own drum -- and being people-oriented is part of his unique parade.

I got a call from Offspring the Third today. He had to do some shopping by himself, and since he does not like going places alone, he called me to chat while he wandered around the store. He gathered the things he needed, and collected a few Christmas presents for his siblings (he enjoys gift-giving as much as I do). He paused our conversation just long enough to check out, and then took his purchases to his vehicle. After he and his shopping bags were all in his truck, he said goodbye.

The whole process took about an hour. And while he wandered the store, I wandered around the house, tidying this and that, cleaning bathrooms, folding laundry. It was a pleasant hour: we both had company while doing ordinary tasks. Time well spent.
-----

The hardest parts of being a parent are the self-doubt and the knowledge that I have made mistakes along the way. Did I do the right things at the right time in the right way? I tried; but there are things I should have done differently, different words I should have used. I am sorry, Offspring. Imperfect am I.

And yet, the Offspring show me mercy: for when they choose my company, either by phone or in person, I feel that surely I must have done something right, after all.

These lovely flowers were captured by Offspring the Third,

and are used with gratitude to him. 

Copyright 2018, Offspring the Third. 

I Heart This Facebook Page

Revisit: Sunrise in New England

Decompress

Herself speaks.

I was away for a few days: I ventured to Points North to be present when an elderly relative underwent a planned surgical procedure. It went well, all things considered. I am glad.

It takes me time to decompress from traveling and heavy-duty social interaction (both "business" and "pleasure"). It may take several days before I find the time, and the right Words, to lay things to rest properly. 

While I was in Points North, I took a walk around a neighborhood near the hospital we would be visiting. There was a lovely old house -- likely a fraternity house, is my guess -- that was dark and grey and had moss-colored gargoyles at the entrance. It was framed by the autumn leaves of the trees in the yard. Very Nice, Indeed. 

    

I Was So Hopeful

It is painful to watch the election results. I want to hide and not think about it any more. 

We need to keep trying, though. 

OK Then!

Local Wildlife

Visiting Fall