Friend/Wonder

There was a point in my life when I had come to the conclusion that I would never have friends in the same way that other people have friends.

I have my husband and my children; they are the backbone of my life, my focus, my loves. I also have extended family, both that of birth and that of marriage, and they provide me with a social structure and a sense of belonging.  Plus I have my internet people, those with whom I e-mail or interact through electronic media. (These are lovely, supportive, kind-hearted and intelligent people, these internet people; never underestimate the power of connection through the computer.) I have high school classmates and college roommates with whom I communicate on occasion, too.

Yet, for many many years, there were no individuals with whom I interacted in person on a regular basis by choice, unless they were related to me either by marriage or by blood. I assumed that such people would never exist for me.

And yet, here I am:  the Universe has seen fit to provide me a friend.  It is a wonder -- a tangible, actual miracle for me -- to find that despite a lack of any familial or social obligation, another individual appears to be willing to spend time with me. To run errands, to watch movies. To walk. To talk. To play Scrabble. To just sit and be.

How could I possibly be so fortunate?  And how can I possibly express my gratitude to my friend for existing?

I cannot.  There aren't enough words. There will never be enough words.

So I do what I can to make my friend's life more pleasant.  Sometimes, that means providing food.  Other times, that means just listening. Every now and then, that means giving my friend space to be alone. (That's the greatest challenge for me -- but I'm learning.)  And I fold my friend into my family as much as my friend allows me to do so. It is a tremendous pleasure to have my friend among, and included in the group of, the people I hold most dear.

I know there will come a time when my path will diverge from the path of my friend.  Perhaps my friend will find a mate, and the amount of time my friend and I spend together will dwindle as my friend's own family begins. Or perhaps an irresistible employment opportunity will arise in a distant place, and geography will become a barrier to time spent together.  Or perhaps, something else -- we never know which way the winds of fate will blow.

Ever mindful of this, I am grateful every day for my friend. And no matter what the future holds, I know that I have had a friend, and I am a better person for it.

I wish for you all, a friend like my friend. You would be very lucky, indeed.