Body Thanks

In the land of Facebook, many of Herself's friends have a particular tradition for November status updates:  each day, they describe something for which they are thankful. It can be silly, or serious; sweeping, or tiny.  We like this idea.  Sometimes, in the slog of every day life, we forget to take a moment to appreciate that for which we are grateful. It helps to remember.

I thus turn the blog over to Herself, for her ruminations on thankfulness for today.

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Halloween is always a tricky day.  Though I love to dress up, I struggle with appropriate fit and appearance of my costume, much as I do with ordinary clothing on other days of the year.  It's a challenge for an ample, middle-aged woman to achieve the desired Halloween goal of fun/flirty/witty/attractive without looking foolish.  'Mutton dressed as lamb.' No.  

It was a tad chilly yesterday, so I went with Trinity from The Matrix. I've dressed as her before.  It's an enjoyable costume, and surprisingly comfortable despite the pleather and the corset.  I even managed to lace myself into the corset, a challenge to be sure.  I will admit, I feel good wearing the costume. Happy. A tad more outgoing.  Perhaps even a tiny bit sexy. That doesn't happen terribly often, so I do enjoy the feeling. 

After the trick-or-treaters had descended and all of the candy had been given away, we retreated inside.  Beloved Husband took a few pictures of me in the costume while I had a brief Facebook 'conversation' with one of my ladyfriends on my telephone.  

Oh, dear. The pictures. 

He likes them, and for that I am glad.  I dislike many -- most -- of them.  I see so many flaws. Deficiencies, shortcomings.  Scars. Wrinkles. Chipmunk teeth.  More weight than I need, curves that are far more ample than alluring. I feel frustrated. Sad. Embarrassed. I say: the me that lives inside my head is so much cuter than the me in the pictures.  And then I laugh. 

The laugh does not hide the fact that this is the truth, for me.

But I realize that, all things considered, this body serves me well.  I do not feed it as well as I should, nor exercise it as often as I should.  It has given me trouble periodically and I have had to part with a recalcitrant (and mercifully unnecessary) organ or two. I have sprained and injured it, and I've visited the emergency room on more than one occasion when it has had difficulty. It's a little clumsy. It is prone to migraine, to food cravings, to pain in the hip and the lower back. It is an imperfect machine.

Despite all that, this body trudges on.  It forgives me my failings. It does its best to heal itself.  It allows me to do the things I like to do - I can walk and hike for hours; I can cook and type and play the piano and read.  I can touch the people I love.  Really, that's a lot.  And today, it is enough. And I am thankful for it. 

So tempted am I to put a caption:

"It's the angle that makes my behind look so big!"

Today, though, whether it is the angle or not - 

Thank you, behind, for providing me a comfortable seat.