Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Old Scars, New Wounds

Herself learned yesterday that a person she knows quite well had both knowledge and opportunity to assist Herself in a time of great need in the distant past, and did not do so.  She is stunned.  The idea that someone whom Herself expected -- and should have been fully able to rely upon -- to come to her aid did not, in fact, help her, boggles the imagination.  To have the issue raised twenty-four years later is incomprehensibly painful. 

Herself carries scars from that helpless moment to this day.  How can it be, that those wounds could possibly have been prevented, and were not?  Was it reckless negligence?  Or deliberate tort?  Unknown.  Herself does not wish to raise the matter with the person again; there is nothing to be gained, and possibly more hurt to be found.  Self-protection is paramount at this juncture. 

Herself has found some consolation.  She is in the unique position of being able to help another person, whom she loves tremendously, to address the same situation Herself was in all those years ago - and Herself is fully present and active in her assistance.  The knowledge that she can prevent this loved one from waking up in a cold, horrified sweat years from now, as Herself still does on occasion, lessens Herself's own pain.

Also, the Universe has provided the yang to that moment of yin, for Herself is blessed to have marvelously kind and helpful people in her life today.  She is able to think through, write through, and talk through this unexpected re-wounding in the safety of people who truly do care.  Such mercy.  Thank you.

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