Endurance

Let's talk for a few minutes about our favorite sport of tae kwon do.

Herself is now a red belt. Two more steps remain, if all progresses as hoped: testing for red belt/black stripe in December, and then testing for black belt next July. It seems hard to believe that she is so close now.

Lately, she has been attending the red/black belt classes twice a week, in addition to her regular classes. The primary population of these classes consists of the teenage black belt and red belt/black stripe students, with the occasional "mature" student besides Herself. She wants to attend these classes, and yet, they test her mental and physical endurance to the very limits.

She is often frustrated by her inability to perform certain kicks or other movements. She understands in theory how things are supposed to work, and yet is unable to force her body to do what should be done. It's "comprehension vs. compliance." She feels old, slow, stupid. Inept.

It would be easier not to attend the classes, to excuse herself as being physically unable. And sometimes that seems a reasonable excuse - her hips pop, her knees hurt, her old ankle injury flares. But is she hiding behind fear and age? If she only tries harder, could she perform properly? How much must she push? Shouldn't she be more protective of her body? What if she injures herself? Is it truly physically impossible for her, or has she just not tried hard enough yet? Will she ever succeed?

It has been a long journey. Some days she forgets that it is a miracle that she is able to do tae kwon do at all, that a few years ago, such a physical challenge was an impossibility. She would do well to remember. She does the very best she can. Ultimately, that will have to be enough.