Shed a Little Light

When I was but a tender young Ninja, I kept most of my emotions to myself.  Happiness, sadness, frustration, love, longing, anger, fear, disappointment, all bottled up inside.  I didn't show how I felt - for to do so was to make myself vulnerable.  With my sentiments safely locked away, I could protect myself from heartache, heartbreak.  So I thought.

Now that I am greater in years, I have come to realize that to protect myself is to shield myself not only from sorrow, but also from joy, for they go hand in hand.  Without the one, the other cannot fully exist. 

I learned this when I discovered that my heart had quietly escaped the confines in which I had placed it. It now roams freely over the earth, seeking experience and wisdom.  It trips and falls; it is bruised; it is hardened; it is warmed by the glow of one individual and cooled by the callousness of another; it is shattered by a harsh word, or by a silence; and it is nursed back to health by a soothing word or a tender touch. 

I cry more, and I laugh more.  I make a greater effort to reach out to people.  Even though I embarrass myself and make conversational mistakes more frequently, I nevertheless succeed in bridging the gap between myself and others more often.  The abyss of loneliness does not yawn before me as it once did.  There is warmth, and light, and hope.   

I tell the people I love, how much they mean to me.  I say, "thank you," and I truly mean it.  I am grateful for all the small moments in which I can lend a listening ear, provide a gentle hug, offer a muffin, or give consolation.  And it is only because I have survived the bitter sorrows and failures of the past, that I can truly appreciate these joys now. 

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
- Kahlil Gibran