Need To Know

Herself finds herself irritating once more a perpetual thorn in her side.  She knows she does it.  She cannot help it.  She hopes, somehow, each time that it will be different, and is disappointed when it is not. 

Herself's long-standing Acquaintance, about whom we have written before, oftentimes manages in many of the conversations with Herself, to cast aspersions on the various aspects of Herself's life: Herself's hobbies (for example, visiting the range this morning with Beloved Husband and Offspring the third); Herself's interests and small pleasures (guinea pigs, fresh crayons); what Herself does or doesn't do with the Offspring (when to obtain orthodonture or what lessons to provide); and other matters.  In addition, Acquaintance is frequently bleak or misanthropic.  The Acquaintance also provides Herself with unsolicited advice about mundane social niceties that -- even with a paucity of interpersonal skills -- Herself manages to remember to do without any prompting.  Every conversation contains at least one negative, disapproving, or didactic statement; if Herself is 'lucky,' more than one problem, dark statement, or advice-presenting opportunity can be covered in a single telephone call.

Herself has come to the conclusion that she can't really share any detail about her life with this Acquaintance.  It is just too frustrating when each chat devolves into admonition or pessimistic commentary.  It is sad, too, for the Acquaintance would like to be involved in Herself's life, and does not appear to realize the extent of the problem. At the same time, Herself cannot bring herself to have any kind of heart-to-heart conversation with Acquaintance to point out the issue in hopes of resolving it:  Acquaintance would be devastated, weeping and accusatory and defensive, and yet, ultimately, would likely not change. 

Herself chooses not to subject herself to the emotional fallout from such a conversation. Instead, she needs to try to break the cycle, to limit conversation to "need to know" information only.  Perhaps she will focus on asking Acquaintance more questions about Acquaintance's own life, so that she need answer none regarding her own.  That might work. It must be done, though - Herself cannot keep expecting a different result any more.  That is fruitless, and she must accept it.

She must acknowledge that she cannot have the relationship with Acquaintance that she would like.  It is time to let that hope go.

I do not want what I cannot have.

Photograph taken at Aden Crater.