Saturday, June 4, 2011

Close and Far: Questions

Last night, Herself had dinner with a friend whose possible relocation is positively nauseating.  Such an enormous pleasure, is this friend's company.  When Herself came home, chuckling to herself as she remembered the evening's conversation, I asked her these questions: 

If you know that a person who is important to you is planning to move away in the relatively near future, why do you continue to spend time with that person?  Why do you not begin to distance yourself metaphorically before the actual physical separation? How do you balance the competing interests of protecting yourself from heartache, and wishing to enjoy the company of that person? Does being aware of the forthcoming pain of waving goodbye -- not knowing when you will see that person again -- change your behavior?

She answers simply:  it makes me that much more grateful for the time my friend and I spend together. 

She knows that the move, when it comes, will be devastating.  Nevertheless, that sorrow is a price that she willingly will pay in return for the joy that her friend brings her now.  To be aware of the forthcoming change reminds her to cherish all moments, large and small -- not only with this friend, but with the handful of vital people in her life.  She holds all those she loves just a little more tightly to her heart, and is thankful for the time together.

Carpe diem.

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