Simple

Today's earworm:  Simple Man, by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

I hope you enjoy.

Homecoming

Herself has taken on a new task that requires her to be out of the house for over 6 hours each weekday. After years and years of telecommuting, it's an interesting change for her to make the effort to be presentable and go in the morning. It's requiring more running around early in the day than usual -- is the kitchen tidy? Have lunches been made? Is dinner contemplated? Is the laundry under control? Are the pets all set? -- but Herself's productivity has increased accordingly. It's not unenjoyable. It is rather a bit tiring, but Herself supposes she will become more accustomed to the new, more challenging routine with time.

She has worried about the impact of her absence on Tiny Dog, who is accustomed to having Herself present all day long.  Would Tiny Dog be sad? Lonely? Angry or sulky when Herself returned?  Mercifully, charming Tiny Dog has adapted well.  She greets Herself at the door with enthusiasm and tail wagging, and after a snack and a potty break, she and Herself sit on the couch for a bit together. It is restful and soothing for both of them.

Good girl, Tiny Dog.

Tag

One day last week, Herself provided transportation for her long-term Acquaintance, who needed a ride to a particular place at a specific time. Herself is always happy to give a lift (whether literal or metaphorical), and went about the task while en route to her other activities.  At the moment, Herself was dressed to attend to out-of-house matters; she was a tiny bit curious to see what Acquaintance -- who voices strong opinions regarding exactly what one should and should not wear for any and every occasion -- would say.

"You look quite glamorous."

That was unexpectedly positive, Herself thought, although she also supposed that anyone accustomed to seeing Herself in her usual yoga pants or jeans and T-shirts might indeed find slacks and a blouse to be rather on the glamorous side of things. Long-term Acquaintance further commented that she had seen a similar blouse at a particular high-end department store. Herself, contemplating the discount retail shop where she had purchased the blouse in question, was pleased not to have spent high-end prices on the garment.

At the destination, Herself hopped out of the vehicle to help long-term Acquaintance with her belongings, and Acquaintance commented, "Let me see what size that blouse is in case I see a similar one on sale."  She then reached up, grabbed the back of the neck of Herself's blouse, and wrestled out the tag to see what was printed on it. She then bade farewell to Herself and went on her way.

Sigh.

It was no use, Herself supposed, in just stating aloud what size the blouse was; Acquaintance never seems to believe Herself's statements about the sizes of her clothing.  That's not necessarily surprising -- it's hard to provide full coverage of a bountiful bosom without also having ample fabric present at the waist, and that oftentimes unfortunately results in a more voluminous silhouette than one might attain with a more tailored garment. In order to (hopefully) keep from appearing too dumpy, a woman with curves such as Herself's may wear differing sizes, depending on fabric, cut and style. "What size is that?" thus is a legitimate question.

Still.

Perhaps if Herself were three years old, it might be acceptable for an adult to take a quick peek at the tag in her shirt in order for the adult to ensure that any clothing gift would fit properly. Nevertheless, in Herself's opinion it is improper for a middle-aged (or any-aged) adult to be treated in such a manner in a public place.  It's needlessly invasive of her personal space. And it makes her twitch.  She wishes anew that she had an actual Personal Space Sphere to protect herself from such unwanted contact.

Perhaps someday she'll be able to shake off such happenstances without difficulty. In the meanwhile, though, she seeks out positive, unobtrusive physical contact with her Safe People (and her Tiny Dog) to counterbalance the transgression. That always helps her to feel better.

Nature's Secret Love

Nature loves her creatures, and conceals them (when necessary) with a precise and tender hand.

We delight in discovering her creatures in all their hidden beauty.

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
 ― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Mysterious cricket in its lair of leaves. 
Picture copyright 2014, Mediocria Firma. Used with gratitude.

Loner

Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them. ― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

The more time we spend out in the world interacting with others, the more we realize that people are oftentimes incomprehensible.  Even with those individuals we know well, we are occasionally surprised to realize that they think or perceive in manners that are different from (and even opposite to) how we think or perceive.

It is disappointing. Frustrating. It tempts us to withdraw into solitude:  when we are alone, we at least have the comfort of knowing we understand ourselves.

It's sometimes a wonder that human beings can in fact find common ground -- but somehow, we do.  We try, with a million words and gestures, to impart to one another what we mean or how we feel or why we believe things ought to be a certain way.  It is a laborious endeavor.  Yet occasionally, someone close has an uncanny ability to say aloud precisely what one is thinking under specific circumstances, and it's both thrilling and terrifying to realize that perhaps, for that single moment, one is perfectly understood.

This magnificent photograph shows an ant lion larva in all its solitary glory.
Picture copyright 2014, Mediocria Firma. Used with gratitude.

Channeling Your Inner Princess

Herself speaks.

I have not yet seen Disney's Frozen.  I'm usually relatively princess-averse; the all-too-common "princess needing rescue" theme does not sit well with me.  (I'm more of a paper-bag princess type.) I note that Disney has been attempting to provide female characters with greater strength and courage (see, e.g., Mulan and Brave). While I applaud that effort, I still resist Disney movies on the whole because of the tremendous amount of merchandising.  The princess-ification of generations of young girls in cheaply-made gowns and tiaras is not A Good Thing; positive messages are easily lost among the cheap plastic trinkets.

One day relatively recently, I accidentally heard the very-popular song from Frozen:  Let It Go. It's musically adequate - not earth-shatteringly musically interesting, certainly, but at the very least, it's rather catchy.  Earworm material.

And then there are the lyrics.  Well, those certainly resonated much more than I thought they would.

(I know, it's "just a song."  I ask you, though, to think of the songs you hold close to your heart, or those that you have tied in your memory with a particular time or place or event, though.  You might be surprised at the lasting effect that a song has had.)

Don't let them in, don't let them see.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.

That's really rather close to home, not only for adolescents who are just beginning to figure themselves out, but also for me and for many women who grew up as I did.  We must behave, we must not cry or display emotion, and above all, we must excel -- work extremely hard, be ever so proper, do All The Right And Expected Things.  And we do, as we must; yet we have moments when we feel stifled, restrained, unable to reach for (or even think about) the dreams that we might have, because they are not strictly compatible with the path on which we have been set.

Let it go, let it go!
Can't hold it back any more.
Let it go, let it go!
Turn away and slam the door.
I don't care what they're going to say.

It's a beautiful -- and dangerous -- message for naive pubescent and adolescent princess-admirers. While it might give them the strength to reach for some tremendous goals and to tune out naysayers, it might also allow those who are particularly impressionable to turn their backs on well-intentioned (and perhaps sage) advice given to them regarding school or peers or their future.

It's a very different message for the middle-aged woman. So many of us, sandwiched by our responsibilities to our husbands and offspring and to our aging parents, boxed in by our employment and our activities, long to take a new path.  We have been defined for so long by our relationship to others -- daughter, wife, mother -- that we feel as though we have lost ourselves.  We want to find ourselves again, to be ourselves, not just to be the women people assume we are or are supposed to be.

Is Let It Go an encouragement to make changes and see where Life and the forces of nature will take us, or a gentle reminder that, pop-culture song lyrics aside, we must leave our dreams in our heads because we cannot turn our backs on our obligations to pursue selfish aspirations?  Can we somehow make our dreams one with our realities?  It seems an impossible, insurmountable task. Or is it? Food for thought, certainly.

It's funny how some distance,
makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do,
to test the limits and break through.
No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
I'm free!

Rules must be bent deliberately, purposefully, only after careful thought; we don't want to encourage young girls to do so willy-nilly. Yet this verse also contains a welcome reminder that a bit of perspective can aid a girl in moving forward even if she is afraid. Perspective is always helpful.

Let it go, let it go.
I am one with the wind and sky.
Let it go, let it go.
You'll never see me cry.

It's a bit disingenuous to suggest that no one should see a girl cry, for crying is part and parcel of existence; but if the intention of this verse is to remind a girl not to shed tears of fear or doubt or regret for attempting to forge a new path for herself -- that is a good thing, indeed.

Let it go, let it go.
And I'll rise like the break of dawn.
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand, in the light of day.

Motivation to arise and try anew, every day, and a reminder that one need not be perfect, are both excellent for everyone:  young girls, middle-aged girls, old girls -- and boys of all ages as well.

And so it ends.  Or begins.

I am curious now to see the context of the song. When I determined that I'd have a weekend evening to myself without adult company in the near future, I decided that I should rent Frozen and treat myself to a quasi-princess evening with Tiny Dog (girls unite!). I will let you know what I think of the movie.

Iūnius

Green was the silence, wet was the light,
the month of June trembled like a butterfly. 
― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Picture copyright 2012, 2013, 2014 Mediocria Firma. Used with gratitude.