Holidays Past

 For the first time, none of the Offspring will be home for Thanksgiving. It's like the end of an era. 

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I so miss having company in the kitchen.  Offspring the Third particularly enjoyed cooking; Offspring the First and Offspring the Second also joined in on occasion, though it was more their presence than their participation that was there (and presence was just as welcome).  There were a few years when Cherished Friend would be facilitate cooking, too. It was lovely. 

Now, we do not even hold Thanksgiving at our house - although I suppose that is just as well this year, because we have not yet recovered and repaired from The Flood. At any rate, this year all the Offspring (and Cherished Friend, too, for that matter) are hundreds and hundreds of miles away. I miss all their faces more than I can say. 

I don't know where to put up a Christmas tree: there is nowhere to do so, given the Flood-related Disarray. My house, my brain, and my heart are all disheveled. 

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I miss simple pleasures. A little Christmas music, the tree, the festive linens on the dining room table. Finding just the right gift for someone. The undivided attention of a kitchen compatriot. A chihuahua, looking for crumbs. One of the offspring, feet up on the couch, providing commentary. The Peanuts Christmas special. 

What do I want? 

I want to wedge myself on the couch right next to someone, just to sit, maybe even to read, to watch a movie. Casual physical proximity, with love. But alas, I am out of chihuahuas and the bunnies are not inclined. The cats, when they are here, want either to stuff themselves up my nose, or to perch on the windowsill and stare longingly at birds outside the window. Beloved Husband is busy, and everyone else is too far away. 

Alas. 

Someone hold me. My heart aches for what has been and will never be again.