While contemplating Elderly Three-toothed Dog yesterday evening, my mind wandered to other things and occasions that I miss. It was not a wishing for a return to such times, necessarily; rather, it was nostalgia. Saudade. Hiraeth. Small moments, lost to time.
* School. I loved school: learning new things, and the feeling of success when academics went well. Sometimes, I feel as though school was one of the few things I was truly good at doing.
* That one fuzzy sweater I had in college which, when it was worn, inspired boys to flirt with me.
* The ritual of the liturgy.
* Those Friday evenings in the first few years of marriage, when Beloved Husband would bring me a simple bouquet of flowers that he picked up at one of the subway interchanges during his commute. Though I have never been adept at keeping flowers alive, it was heartwarming to know he thought of me on his way home.
* The slow, sea-creature-like movement, deep within, of gestating Offspring.
* Family vacations on the road. Beloved Husband would plan the route and the destination, and I would determine the meal plan and carefully pack all of the snacks and toys and entertainment into the trailer.
* Waiting for the next Harry Potter book or movie to be released.
* Tae kwon do. All of it. The physical ability; the sense of camaraderie; the forms and the serenity.
* Companionship while running weekend errands.
* The parts of my former employment that showed me new and fascinating scientific inventions.
* Constitutionals along the walking path.
* Guinea pigs.
All these pieces, come and gone. I should find some new projects and hobbies to fill the voids. What shall I do? We shall see.
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