I am still processing last weekend's travels, during which I went back to my alma mater for the first time in over two decades. It was marvelous, and overwhelming, and full of familiar-unfamiliar surroundings and people whom I was sure I would remember if I could just reach in and remove the thirty years' worth of life since we last saw one another.
I was so pleased to see some of these people, who were once critical and colorful threads in the tapestry of my college experience. The passage of time rendered my delight absolutely pure: there was nothing complex, nothing sorrowful -- just joy at their presence. I wish them so much happiness.
I was surprised, too, at the stories some classmates recounted about me. I have always considered myself to be somewhat invisible: backstage, flying under the radar. Helping but not standing out - that's what I do. Perhaps, though, I had more impact than I thought I had.
It's both strange and touching to know I am remembered so fondly.
There were some extremely bittersweet components to the reunion. The hardest part, I think, was being in a place where there were once so many options, so many possibilities. Now certain roads are no longer travel-able, and many doors are closed. Choices made. Responsibilities accumulated. Years gone by. Thus it is.
I am so far from where I began. I do not regret the path I have taken. Still, in a way I miss my young self, full of hope and optimism, with no other obligations besides to learn. What bliss that was. How little I appreciated it then.
Live, and learn.
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