Benedictus

Herself speaks.
Quite serious again today.

We continue today to process the death by suicide of a young man of our acquaintance. Bits and pieces of information come to us slowly, filtered through a variety of people of varying closeness to the family of the young man. There was first word of a terrible note, implying that this last act was an act of rage. Later information softened the tone -- it was in fact a simple text, not a note, and it was, more than anything else, an ever so sad message. Heartrending.

While anger thus has no purchase on which to stand, sorrow and regret and and immense, encompassing anguish have descended and perched on every surface. No one knows what to do, what to say.

We cannot change what has happened. How do we lead forward the grieving? Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute, if necessary. Breathe. Let it wash over us. Breathe again. And those for whom it may help, we pray.
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FOR THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS OF A SUICIDE.
-- John O'Donohue, from To Bless the Space Between Us.

As you huddle around the torn silence,
Each by this lonely deed exiled
To a solitary confinement of soul,
May some small glow from what has been lost
Return like the kindness of candlelight.

As your eyes strain to sift
This sudden wall of dark
And no one can say why
In such a forsaken, secret way,
This death was sent for …
May one of the lovely hours
Of memory return
Like a field of ease
Among these gravelled days.

May the Angel of Wisdom
Enter this ruin of absence
And guide your minds
To receive this bitter chalice
So that you do not damage yourselves
By attending only at the hungry altar
Of regret and anger and guilt.

May you be given some inkling
That there could be something else at work
And that what to you now seems
Dark, destructive and forlorn,
Might be a destiny that looks different
From inside the eternal script.

May vision be granted to you
To see this with the eyes of providence.
May your loss become a sanctuary
Where new presence will dwell
To refine and enrich
The rest of your life
With courage and compassion.

And may your lost loved one
Enter into the beauty of eternal tranquility,
In that place where there is no more sorrow
Or separation or mourning or tears.