Phenomenological Difference

There is a phenomenological difference in experiencing pain yourself and sharing someone else's pain and suffering. Your own pain is involuntary; you feel overwhelmed and have no control. When feeling the pain of others there is an element of discomfort, but there also is a level of stability because you are voluntarily accepting pain. It gives you a sense of confidence. - His Holiness the Dalai Lama

I was not entirely sure, at first, what the Dalai Lama meant.

First, I looked up "phenomenological" -- "relating to the study of the development of human consciousness and self-awareness."  Hmmm. That seems to require a million more words before I begin to comprehend.

Second, I looked up "confidence," for it seemed oddly out of place in the quotation. Confidence: "a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something." In this context, what does that indicate? That one has a feeling or belief that one can experience pain and suffering well? That doesn't make sense.

Let's just look at the middle part:

Your own pain is involuntary; you feel overwhelmed and have no control. When feeling the pain of others there is an element of discomfort, but there also is a level of stability because you are voluntarily accepting pain.

This part, I understand.

When I feel my own Darkness descend, I do feel overpowered and helpless. Afraid. I have to hold tight to myself and wait for it to pass.

To hear and acknowledge someone else's Darkness, though, does not frighten me. To bear witness to another's Darkness is to willingly take on a piece of it for oneself. It is to light a beacon for those in the Darkness. And sometimes, it is just to sit in silence in the Darkness, together.

This, I can do.