Detritus and Miscellany

So many little bits of things floating about in our heads -- the flotsam and jetsam of a rather busy and slightly odd summer, bobbing about on the waves of time that are carrying us forward toward the beginning of the school year and (hopefully) a resumption of normalcy.  It's difficult to isolate and scoop up one thing or another without the other things bumping in and distracting us from, or displacing, the desired thing.  (This might be why not much is getting accomplished these days.)  Let us inspect all the items that are currently within our visual field, shall we?

Item One:  The Dogs, with a special emphasis on ottoman-shaped dog

Holy moly, the beasts have all been particularly needy of late.  Ottoman-shaped dog had a couple of Very Bad Days, leading Herself to wonder if it were time for him to shuffle off this mortal coil, but then he bounced back. He stoically watches at the front door whenever Herself goes out, as always, and she finds it almost unbearably sad to think of the day on the near horizon when she will no longer spy his ears poking up from his spot where he awaits her return.  And at the same time, she is tired from anticipating the moment when she knows it's time to help him to go. It will be heartrendingly sad, and a great relief.  That's a terrible combination to tolerate.

Item Two:  words, too many and yet not enough

We have been flagging in our posting here, and struggling with writing the story we've been composing for quite some time now. Without the rigors of the school schedule, the constant presence of the Offspring -- even though they are lovely people -- is like a low drone, a hum in the ears that is distracting and prevents us from being able to gather our thoughts and collect our words and arrange them in proper and significant order.  We desperately need some people silence in the house.  Some moments alone.  To think, and to write -- creatively, meaningfully, hopefully.

Item Three:  wants and desires

We have such ordinary longings:  to have a few moments during which we need not think about the daily grind of bills and laundry and work and money and fuss and muss.  To have a few moments when we do not recollect the unseemly, shameful horror of crying so audibly in the Emergency Room because of the kidney stone.  To have a few moments when we do not need to work so hard to weigh our words, curb our emotions, and speak carefully, either in order to walk someone through a difficulty, or in order not to upset someone with a poorly chosen word or emotional outburst.  To have a few moments when we do not feel the weight of someone else's needing something that we must provide.

To be able to dream about an occasional possession that we would like to have, without feeling guilty for the desire and without sensing the cloud of impossibility overshadowing us.

To be creative.

To be unrestrained. To be free to dance or to sing.

To feel an absence of judgement, and an acceptance just as we are.

To be cherished despite our failings. To be desired despite our flaws.

To enjoy peace and quiet.  To be content.

It seems so simple. And yet, on some days, so far out of our grasp.

Picture copyright 2012, 2013, Mediocria Firma. Used with gratitude.