Each one of us is doomed and privileged to be an inner artist who carries and shapes a unique world. - John O'Donohue
Herself has always been a very slow bloomer. Her understanding of people, in particular, has been glacially slow to develop. As a child, she gave absolutely no thought to the motivations of others - not because she didn't care, but because she had no idea whatsoever that she should do so. As a teenager and young adult, she eventually figured out that she should try to determine what makes other people tick in order to try to improve her interactions with them. Remembering to do so in the midst of a conversation, as well as trying to retain and then assemble puzzle pieces of others together, though, was extraordinarily difficult. Exhausting. And not often fruitful.
There was a full decade in which she essentially gave up entirely; there had been too many missteps, too much hurt. She had superficial interactions with people, but did not try to learn about them in depth, or open up to them, either. Too much work for too little gain. At around the age of 40, though, her loneliness had grown to a size at which she was no longer able to ignore it; her busy Beloved Husband and lovely Offspring could not fill the void that had grown from years of telecommuting and paltry human contact. She began to try again to reach out and try to understand other people.
Her new interactions with others were very surprising at times. Someone would say something, and Herself would realize with a start that the person thought entirely differently from Herself. How could this be?
It was as though she had lived all of her previous life in a clouded bubble, unable to see others clearly. Through the murky air, she had assumed that the thoughts and motivations and souls of others were similar to hers. But no: and one day, the bubble burst and everything changed. It was a shocking POP. Her eyes were finally opened; the motivations, loves, dislikes, and reasoning of other people all had new and unfamiliar colors, textures and shapes.
It was frightening.
As she has learned more about those around her, she has come to understand that her individual viewpoint is indeed unique: she sees the world in a way that is completely different from the way that all other people do. (Just as it must be for others as well.) It has taken her a long time to come to terms with this new harsh brightness of reality; much of her Midlife Crisis, in fact, has centered upon learning to inhabit her solitary world even as she peers into the strange worlds of others. Sometimes, her understanding fuels a terrible loneliness. At other times, it transforms the loneliness into a quiet solitude. Here, alone in her world, there is peace.
When you inhabit your solitude fully and experience its outer extremes of isolation and abandonment, you will find that at its heart there is neither loneliness nor emptiness but intimacy and shelter. - John O'Donohue, Anam Cara
Furthermore: we are all alone - but in our aloneness, we are together. If we reach out our fingertips to one another, we can bridge the chasm for a moment, and our individual lights will join in a single glorious spark. Beautiful.
May you recognize in your life the presence, power, and light of your soul.
May you realize that you are never alone,
that your soul in its brightness and belonging connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe.
May you have respect for your own individuality and difference.
May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique, that you have a special destiny here,
that behind the facade of your life there is something beautiful, good, and eternal happening.
- John O'Donohue, Anam Cara
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