Bridezillas

During this winter break, the Offspring are enjoying one another’s company.  It is a pleasure to behold.  Offspring the Third shouts up the stairs to Offspring the First:  “Come downstairs so we can watch TV together!” She joins him, and eventually Offspring the Second arrives in the family room as well.  They ensconce themselves on the variety of couches, surround themselves with snacks and the dogs, and chortle and comment together.

Last night, the Offspring were – oddly – watching Bridezillas.  For the uninitiated, Bridezillas is a television series that captures the alleged trials and tribulations of women who are preparing for their weddings.  After watching two episodes with the Offspring I can say, without any exaggeration whatsoever, that the women shown on the show are the most appallingly self-centered, spoiled, dreadful specimens of humanity that I have ever seen.  The disregard for the efforts, feelings, and needs of others; the extensive (and oftentimes unaffordable) expenditures; the “me-me-me” attitude:  how can a person possibly be that way?  It’s truly shocking.

To put so much emphasis and expectation on a single day is a recipe for disaster.  No matter how perfect the planning, there will always be some small mistake or problem; it is an absolute necessity to be tolerant, forgiving, creative.  Furthermore, while the right formalities, dress and accoutrements can be important, it cannot be the be-all, end-all.  The whole purpose of a wedding is the exchange of promises between two people. Ultimately, all else is extraneous.

Sometimes it seems that in the quest for Things and Stuff and Trappings and Display, all individuals – not just the brides of Bridezilla -- lose sight of the value of one another.  Our human (and very necessary) solitude is highlighted and enhanced by its contrast with the periodic presence of another. We must always be mindful of the pleasure of another’s company; of the knowledge that if one has a disaster, there are individuals who will come to one’s aid; of the comfort of having someone no more than an e-mail, text, or phone call away to listen to even a petty annoyance or minor grievance.  There is a joy in being able to provide for another’s comfort, to rejoice in another’s happiness and to be thoughtfully present in another’s times of need.  These are the things that matter.  When we die, our legacies are not our possessions, but the impact we have had on those around us.

Perhaps Bridezillas does, in fact, serve a useful purpose.  It certainly has reminded me to be grateful anew for the people who have allowed me to be a part of their lives.  Including you, my readers.  It is my pleasure, and my privilege. Thank you.